Day ONE

So our trip began with the alarming news that Dan had to work the morning that we were leaving.

For those that know Dan, know that this did not bode well for our timeline.

We ended up leaving our house at the time we intended to arrive at the airport.

Can you say holy hell?? How do we get all of our stuff checked in, drop the car off at the off site parking, and get 3 kids worth of stuff through security.

Dan and I split up. I took Em and Anna and stood in line to have our bags checked in at the skycap. Then I headed off to the security checkpoint.

The girls were great and we headed to our gate. They were boarding and so I headed to the preboard area to get in line.

They had me wait a moment until they finished boarding group A.

Little did I know they were summoning the big guns to tell me my ass was too big for their plane. The little ticket taker agent guy was so cute. He was too nervous to tell me what was going on, so he pulled me on the the little jetway thing to have his manager tell me my ass was big. The manager was super nice. She apologized since it was unneccesary since I was flying with two children and would have plenty of room for my excess ass if necessary. She escorted me on the plane to help me get situated with the kids which was super helpful. She was pleased as punch when my sizable ass fit in the seat. She also informed me that this was brought to her attention because there was another "customer of size", or C O S as it were, on the flight. She did not purchase an extra seat for her left butt cheek and since the flight was full, she was going to have to fly with half an ass on the plane and half out.

All of this fun and excitement was a nice diversion to my other concern. That my husband and daughter hadn't arrived. The plane was full. Very, Very full.

They made it on, as in last people on the plane made it on.

It was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG six hour flight. The girls did really well, but we were all ansty to get off the plane.

My ears did not pop on the descent and I was in quite a bit of pain. I started popping decongestants in hope of relieving the pain.

Oh, before I forget. Here is where I mention that as we pulled our bags of the carousel Dan was panicked that one of our bags didn't arrive. I pointed out that all of our bags were indeed there. I checked them myself. 3 bags. Another Holy Hell moment. Dan had put one of our bags in the middle of the van and I had only pulled the bags out of the back. Of course it was Dan and Julia's suitcase. The two people in our house who do NOT need a single additional piece of clothing.

Did I mention we landed at 830p AZ time (1030P EST) and the kids did not sleep on the plane? Not at all? After bathroom breaks and fun at the luggage carousel, Anna and Em and I hung out side the airport waiting for Dan, Julia and little tiny rental car to arrive. At 11pm AZ time (1am EST) they pull up in an electric blue Toyota Camry. We load up and head directly to In and Out for dinner. By the time we had our food, 2 of the 3 kids were sleeping and Julia apparently was too tired to eat. That left Dan and I with 2 Double Doubles, 3 grilled cheese sandwiches, 2 milkshakes, 2 lemonades and 1 coke. Oh and 3 fries.

We make it to our hotel and are pleasantly surprised at how nice it is. We head up in the special "key card" elevator to our special floor. The room is awesome. A big old flat panel tv, cookies and milk and relaxing music set out. In a room with one King bed. Yes. One King bed. for FIVE people. No crib either. It was midnight (2am for my girls) and everyone was spent. The hotel kindly and quickly moved us across the hall to an equally cool room but one with 2 double beds and a crib. Everything is great except Anna is moaning as she tries to sleep. From a little after midnight until 2am I rocked her as she cried. Her little ears didn't pop either. Dan ran out to Walgreens and bought some Ibuprophen. She was out at 2am. I was out at 2:01am. Oh, did I forget the EST time? That would be 4:01AM Eastern Standard time.

At 430am the fire alarm begins chirping. After 10 minutes and it doesn't appear to be stopping, we call the front desk. Em wakes up and isn't thrilled. I spend until five AM getting her back to sleep. I bet you can't guess what time Julia woke up. That would be SIX. as in A.M.

I guess technically we're at Day 2 of the trip... So I'll leave you with the promise of dust and vomiting and hysteria for the rest of the day. Did I mention my doctor had me go cold turkey off of my Zoloft and start my Wellbutrin on this trip. You KNOW more hilarity will ensue... I know you can't wait!