Tuesday, October 10, 2006

OHHHHHHHHHH NO!

Seriously - how bad is your day when you wake up - all giddy about the prospects of having some delicious apple pie that you made the night before... to find it is ALL (as in completely, as in - NO MORE) GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I recovered from this disapointment when I found the other half of the pumpkin whoopie pie from this weekend. It's no apple pie - but still delicious yumminess.

Then - also my in-laws left today to go back to Michigan. So the house is mine again. I can strip off every piece of my clothing and run around all willy nilly. Well. Maybe not. But only because there are only sheers on the windows and the doors have windows that have no curtains so everyone would get a view of this non-hot bod. I want to make friends sometime in this lifetime so I will go ahead and keep the clothes on.

THEN - I go to latch Emma on to nurse and it's excrutiatingly painful. As in - "make you vomit from the pain" kind of pain. I pull her off the boob and see - much to my terror that a large portion of my nipple is just hanging there. Yes.

Nipple chunk hanging.

Never good.

As in - never, ever, ever good to see part of your nipple hanging. Like, from your body. As in - almost not attached.

So - it's bleeding and unhappy and I can see that mastitis and death of my breast is only days away. oh. and the pain. The freaking unrelenting pain.

It's as if I've never nursed before.

These things are all bad - but nothing is as bad as the devastation I experienced next. My computer ... broke. Yes, bad things, but my pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew it. I just knew it. Because on my list of things to buy at the store today are CDs so that I can save my pictures. Really. Not kidding.

Conversation I had with my computer (oh - and I took all the expletives out because, really, I just can't type "pig fucker" over and over) just a short hour ago.

ME- "good morning computer"

Computer- "who the heck are you?"

Me - "I'm me!!! Remember me? The one who loves you with the force of a thousand tornados? Come on... you know me!!"

Computer- "I have never seen you. Ever. In my entire life. Back the hell off"

Me- "Oh come on. I'm 350 lbs - I'm hard to miss. So stop messing around and show me my pictures, my hundreds and hundreds of pictures of my beautiful girls. Like NOW"

Computer - "Pictures? What is this of which you speak? oh and also - who the hell are you? "

Me - "are you kidding me????? What do you mean you don't know who I am and where my pictures are. GIVE ME MY PICTURES."

Computer- "no"

Me- "PLEASE'

Computer- "no"

Me - "PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASE"

Computer - "No - I am tired of you. Be gone"

Me "no. I love you. Please."

Computer- "Here - here is a profile that has nothing you ever saved on it - and use it. BUt everytime you turn me off - it will all go away again. Because I don't know you and you can't be trusted"

Me "sob, I want my pictures"

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