Not everyone loved Kindergarten

"Go pick Julia up now? Peeze?"

She did it!

She survived her first day of Kindergarten. She walked out and asked me why she couldn't ride the bus home with her friends. YEAH! It only took one day. Now she wants to ride the bus and BUY lunch.

She has a new best friend - well three - but only one that she knows the name of.

Here is my beautiful kindergartener.

FUG Thursday

While I myself know NOTHING about fashion, and quite frequently make others want to smack their heads into a wall with my personal FUG (flip flops all the freaking time, jean shorts on my fat ass, the same tshirt in 10 colors...)

I do however enjoy the FUG on others so... here is balloon festival FUG... prepare yourselves...

Now this is the hands down winner. Maybe of FUG everywhere. This lovely gentleman has a ripped white sleeveless shirt one. White SEE-THROUGH shorts (oh dear God - my eyes, my eyes!!) and swim shoes on. Now that's classy. At least it was before Labor Day - cuz that would be really tacky.

Now - after specimen #1 - this outfit doesn't look too bad. Lets just say - this was not an event for ass baring skirts (yes - when she bent over - we all saw it all), open back shirts and high freaking heels - together. Maybe one - but together it was just too much. Think fields muddy from the rain and carnies... oh the carnies!

SO - go visit the queen of FUG - or at least the Sherriff of FUG.. Miss Kami.

It starts...

Julia met her teacher today... she seems to be a wonderful person - exactly what you'd want for Kindergarten! Her name is Ms. D and she's very nice.

They will be doing the Kissing Hand in class tomorrow. I'm so happy. Julia received this book from my friend S when she was just a baby and it's a favorite in our house. I have to decorate a hand for her to take with her... and help her trace one too.

Julia classroom is great - they have computers in the class - all of these windows that overlook the playground. I just love this room. They have a big round window in the reading area or "peace center" where the kids have quiet time.

Now we learn all about the bus, buying lunches and milk... the world of school starts tomorrow. I'll be driving her to school but starting next week she'll take the bus a couple days a week. That way I don't have to drive Dan into work everyday.

She also starts skating lessons next week.

She is feeling much better about school. The gym teacher remembered her from last week and called her by name and the principal knew who she was as well. So Julia was relieved. On the way out of the school today she told me, "Mom, I'm excited about making friends tomorrow, but I'm still, really, really, really, really nervous."

Me too, but she'll be fine!

Em...

I'll let you in on a little secret - cuddling with a baby all warm and full from nursing who still has that sweet smell on their breath and the pinkest, rosiest cheeks is the best thing for curing depression, for a moment anyway.

I know I haven't been happy. Not that I don't want to be here - but living in transition is hard. Living in a hotel waiting for your life to start is hard. The issues of being unemployed for 6 months are catching up with us and making life even harder. I'm scared for my mom as she goes through a difficult time. I'm hormonally a bit, well, off. All that combines to ugly days. I think the clouds are clearing a bit, even as the literal clouds roll in.

Emma has been a difficult baby to live with. Yet, it is so nice to see who she is with the pain that plagued her days as a newborn, mostly under control. She has the most amazing smile, with dimples on top of her dimples. Her laugh is delightful.

She's just good for the soul.

Let them be little...

Julia is starting Kindergarten this week and I'm so happy for her. Not in the WHOO HOO a kid is out of the house kind of way, but I'm eager for her to begin this next step in her journey. I'm not sad that she's growing up. I love watching her get older. Will there be tears? Of COURSE! I am a cry baby. I will wait until she's securely in her class and I'm in the car before the waterworks will begin. I don't want her to feel that her growing up causes me any sadness. I want her to be as happy and secure in growing up as I am for her.

I'm happy for Anna and Emma to grow old as well. I want them to grow, experience and live. I want them to be kids and I want them to grow up to be happy children, teens and adults.

I am trying to reconcile letting them grow up with a burning desire to remember (almost consume) every moment of their childhood. Every hug, every cuddle, every smell - even every tantrum. I want to be able to close my eyes and relive these times, not just remember. I want to be able to experience this again - at will. How do you move on when you want to hold on so desperately, but not from fear, from love. I don't want to hold them back, but I also know just how amazing every moment I am experiencing is right now. It breaks my heart to know I will never have these times back. The memories are all we are left with and they, sadly, do not compare. I am one who tries to enjoy the very moment. I am driven to look ahead and certainly look behind, but I try to live in the moment. There is something beautiful about the present, even in it's seemingly boring times.

I guess all we're really left with are the blurry images of the past and then it's time to accumulate new ones from fresh experience. What we really have is this very moment and the potential of the next.

Sunday Six...

These are brought to you by our good friend Kelly at Missing JT Snow. Julia (5) and Anna (2) answered these questions for you!

1. What does it mean to forget?

J - that you don't love each other
A- ummm George

2. What does it mean to be late?

J- to say your sorry
A- yeah, yeah sorry

3. Why do people forget things?

J- cause they just forget
A- forget things

4. Why are people late sometimes?

J- cause they had to do something else
A - dis for saige

5. Who is usually late, Mommy or Daddy?

J- Daddy
A- Mommy and daddy, right there

6. Did you forget something?

J- Yes, I forgot my cat
A- Yeah - mommy




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St. Joseph

Our house in Arizona has not sold. This is a large source of stress for me - since all of our belongings are still there - and will be until this house sells. I'm trying to be patient - focus on what we have at hand - and not worry about all of things - like winter clothes - that are still back there.

The real estate market is DEAD. We need a miracle to get this house off our backs and pocket a little for a down payment on a new place...

SO - St. Joseph is going in the ground. No - really. (Click here for more info)

We will be saying a prayer nightly to St. Joseph to ask him to help us during this time... he is the patron Saint of carpenters.

Thanks And for your help. And thanks St. Joe (who my man was named after...) for your guidance.

Listen to the music...

Tonight we went to Freeport to get Julia's new backpack monogrammed - which I now wish we didn't do... it says JMCD. What the hell is that???

First we went to the Bean factory store and checked out some of the deals - I found the most precious little black cordurouy skirt with embroidered white snowflakes on the edge - for $6 each! I also found them in each of the girls sizes! So - I have Holiday outfits for them. We also found some heavyweight fleece pjs for the girls 75% off.

Then we went up to Discovery Park by the big Bean store and put down a sleeping bag to enjoy the Summer Concert Series. It was a blast. Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys were playing and they were worth it. Great cajun Zydeco music. The girls had soo much fun dancing and Anna was hilarious to watch as she wiggled her booty.

Then we headed into Bean to warm up (yes - I said warm up! Can you believe it was 60 degrees. whoa!) and buy the girls some waterproof pants. Someone recommended them as great Fall beach wear. With some rain boots and some rain pants the girls can play in the sand with out getting wet and cold. COOL!

Next was our annual (although I guess we can partake much more often now!!) visit to the Freeport Ben and Jerry's Scoop Shop. Yum.

Now we're home and the girls are all cuddled up in their fleece pjs sleeping away. Some Snow's Clam Chowder on the stove and a grilled cheese for a late night snack. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dinner time conversation...

Julia: "Anna stop it"

Anna: "NO"

Julia: "Anna! STOP! IT!"

Anna: "Noooooooo"

Julia "Anna, STOP stealing all my broccoli. M-aaaahhh-M, Anna is stealing all my broccoli"


Seriously - my kids will fight over broccoli.

On the beach...

Tomorrow will be a busy day. I need as many positive thoughts as I can get that the kids will let me get through it all.

Dan and I are signing the lease on our winter rental in the morning. Then I'll be picking up the registration paperwork for Julia's school and taking Dan to work. Then I'm going to sign Julia up for her ice skating lessons.

Then depending on how well the kids are doing we'll either head back to the hotel for lunch and nap or we'll go to the Maine motor vehicle department and get my license - then head to Julia's school and finisht he registration process.

Then we'll have to head back and pick Dan up from work. Doesn't sound too busy - but throw in having to figure out where to go and the needs of 3 kiddos and this could be an all day affair.

Surfing

Julia's balance is amazing. She is able to stand up on a boogie board while Dan moves it around the water. He's not holding it firmly either. It's crazy to watch her.

So - Dan offered Anna - our little fearless daredevil a turn. Her response was classic... her little 2 year old voice chips "No daddy, its dange-a-wuss"

Love it.

Yeah..

Ok - so here is my day...

wake up tired and cranky.

Yell at my kids

Change diapers

Feel really, really badly about yelling at kids

Clean up spilled milk. 3 times

Feel really bad about being stupid enough to be in a situation where I had to clean up milk 3 times.

Change diapers

Nurse baby from nipples that are literally on fire. Did you hear me? ON FIRE

Spend an hour talking to Cox Communications about ridiculousness of them putting my social security number in system incorrectly - and stop telling me that my social security number is wrong - I know my damn social security number. Then tell me why I can't access my own account to pay my final bill because my social security number is wrong. Realize that if social security number is wrong - not paying bill won't show up on my credit. Tell Cox Communications to screw themselves. Then tell Cox Communications supervisor's supervisor how much I love her when she doesn't make me come all the way back to Arizona to show my ID to access my OWN account to pay her. LOVE her.

Change diapers.

Get baby to nap.

Get cranky middle child to nap.

Lay down to nap.

Sit up to nurse baby since I am not allowed to sleep for more than 2.3 minutes.

Play with baby and larger sized child while middle terror child sleeps.

Take deep breath.

Call health insurance company to ask many stupid questions including what exactly they mean by pre-existing condition and does this mean I have to pay $1300 for the one month I was without health insurance that I didn't use but now have to pay to avoid having a pre-existing condition? Oh - and also How do I go about getting mental health services for myself (no really) and no I don't necessarily mean going into a treatment facility but if you don't get me some drugs and counseling soon I will be going to one so just go ahead and look it up for me now so I can have them on speedial.

Take deep breath and program phone number into cell phone.

Change diapers

Talk to friend on phone while wrangling kids who feel the need to attach to my body like leeches while the phone is to my head. End phone call when middle child unattaches herself from my body and throws herself off of bed onto wooden adirondack chair ($4 on clearance - how cool is that!!!) and tries to die.

Call husband and tell him that instead of the incredibly challenging meal of putting frozen chicken pot pies into oven that he must stop at store and pick up dinner for a very cranky, tired, unhappy woman.

Call brother. Laugh.

Hang up phone and eat lobster rolls (big ass 10 inch lobster rolls) that husband brought home from store.

Smile.

Gleefully write this all down as all three kids join Dad for a walk to let the dog out to go to the bathroom (after realizing that all this time of changing diapers I forgot to take the dog out).

Silence.

When the lights go out... in the city....

Since we have officially put a hold on a home on the beach for the winter. It was great once we got inside- and that just never happens! Normally we see a house that looks great from the outside and once we get to see it inside - ICK! So we were pleasantly surprised with both houses we looked at. We chose the slightly smaller one based on 2 things - me being too scared to go down in the basement to do laundry- and because the first floor living space was larger and would give the girls more room to play. Being closer to the water didn't hurt either.

The good news is - we will have a guest room - so plan your trips now! From what we've been told - this beach is beautiful year round. It's a great beach for walking, playing and building sandcastles - looking for shells. We'll be in the house until the end of May for sure - and possibly the middle of June.

So - since we have a house - we finally have a school. They start the end of the month, so we went yesterday to Freeport (great outlet shopping and of course the home of LL Bean) to get a couple of things for Julia for school and get a backpack and lunch box. We arrive at 5pm and everything is closed. EVERYTHING. Restaurants, stores, convenience stores. We pull up to the LL Bean outlet store because it was the only place where people were congregating. Turns out that the power was out all over town - for hours..

LLBean was still open - because get this... they don't have locks on the doors! They are open 365 days a year - 24 hours a day, so they don't have locks. It was quite an experience to shop in the semi darkness. Hot and humid - but fun. They had these little camping battery operated lanterns all over the place. So we found a backpack and a lunch box.

Teeth and apples

Emma now has her two bottom teeth coming through. I guess my mommy instincts are indeed intact. Even with everyone telling me it was too early - my little girl has two bottom teeth.

She has started rice cereal - but after 2 weeks hasn't made any real progress in eating it. We started applesauce yesterday and it was met with very little excitement and only about two little bites were consumed and I do believe those were accidentally swallowed. We'll try it again today and move on to my favorite - bananas - tomorrow.

She doesn't cry or fuss - she just doesn't seem to have the swallowing thing down.

blah blah blah

It's hard to blog when everyday is the same...

Two developments....

Ems appt was good. 4 shots, 15lb12oz (75%), 26 1/2 in (75%)... and a referral to a ped GI in October. New ped was nice...

I think we've found a place to rent!!!! It's in Scarborough near the ocean. It's a cottage style home (we're picking between 2 available this weekend). It's a great little community and near Julia's school.

So, plan your visit now!!!

The fun is over..

Our leisurely 3 weeks of going back and forth to the lake are over. We had a beautiful time. The weather was so hot and humid you had to go in the lake just to cool off - and blustery chilly days that we had to have a fire roaring in the fireplace.

Julia drastically improved her swimming skills and I was so proud to watch her play with all kinds of kids. We didn't see a lot of her "martyr" behavior.

We miss being up there - but we'll be going back for the big wedding in September - and then hopefully for a long weekend in October.

Still looking for a rental here - hopefully something will happen soon... also hoping the house sells ---- SOON!!!!