I am still without a computer. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It will probably be another week or two. Seriously. It's torture. I am having to do quick email checks on Dan's computer. Christmas cards sit here waiting to go out once I have addresses...
Oh - and how is this - I got the coolest present on Christmas (which was wonderful I might add!!!) - an Ipod shuffle. It is soooo little and cute. But - with my computer being an ass - I have no way to download my music on to it. Bummer.
So - in the time that we have been apart some wonderful things happened.... we had a beautiful Christmas (without snow!) and Santa was good to us all. My little girl turned 6 (gasp!!!) and we have already rung in the New Year with the girls and sent 2/3 of them to bed. Now it's movie and appetizer time. Have I mentioned how much I love appetizers?
If I have some personal time with a computer I might give you some of the details on the above happenings, but for now just know I'm thinking of ya'll and wish nothing but a spectacular 2007 for you and yours.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
So much to say...
My computer took it's final nosedive into the dark abyss. Yes, after finally giving in and trusting the damn thing - it died. It is now in a lonely box on it's way to Texas to hopefully be repaired or replaced (thank you extended warranty!!!) but I will be without a computer until sometime the beginning of January.
We have been having a blast here and although we are slightly disappointed that our first New England Christmas will be sans snow - we are definitely in the fa la la la la'ing mood here.
We are trying our best to resume our traditions of the past and not be too tied to our "old" way. We were unable to locate our stockings in our jam packed storage unit and so although disappointed we were able to find great temporary replacements. Julia and I were not able to see the Nutcracker as was our tradition of the last two years, but we cuddled on the couch and watched the BBC's presentation on TV. It was funny that by watching it in the comfort of our home, Julia was able to ask lots of questions and really understand the story. The other tradition we were sad to part with was our annual ride on the Polar Express. We were even able to find a substitute for this as I was reading our little local paper and found a train ride on the local narrow gauge railway around Casco Bay with a visit to see Santa. We all had a wonderful time and Anna, who is entranced by anything having to do with trains (a train set is what she asked for from Santa) was thrilled by being on a "real train." Of course the promise of cookies and hot chocolate was also enticing.
The presents are purchased but not wrapped and I am pretty sure I will be spending part of the afternoon in my room wrapping - along with some serious time tonight.
We ran our errands yesterday so that today we could just hang around and relax. It's a beautiful sunny and unseasonably warm day so we'll probably add a long walk on the beach to our Christmas Eve traditions. Tonight we'll have a dinner that consists of appetizers and then take a long walk on around the neighborhood to look at lights and the stars. Then we come back and don our Christmas jammies and watch Christmas movies. Then it will be time to place our stockings under the tree and leave cookies and milk for Santa and some carrots for his reindeer. We're tracking Santa on NORAD. Then we'll all go upstairs in cuddle in bed and read the Night Before Christmas - and then hopefully the kids will be able to sleep. Anna is certain she will be seeing reindeer and I hope she gets her wish.
So although we have moved and things are different some things will never change and for that, I'm happy.
We have been having a blast here and although we are slightly disappointed that our first New England Christmas will be sans snow - we are definitely in the fa la la la la'ing mood here.
We are trying our best to resume our traditions of the past and not be too tied to our "old" way. We were unable to locate our stockings in our jam packed storage unit and so although disappointed we were able to find great temporary replacements. Julia and I were not able to see the Nutcracker as was our tradition of the last two years, but we cuddled on the couch and watched the BBC's presentation on TV. It was funny that by watching it in the comfort of our home, Julia was able to ask lots of questions and really understand the story. The other tradition we were sad to part with was our annual ride on the Polar Express. We were even able to find a substitute for this as I was reading our little local paper and found a train ride on the local narrow gauge railway around Casco Bay with a visit to see Santa. We all had a wonderful time and Anna, who is entranced by anything having to do with trains (a train set is what she asked for from Santa) was thrilled by being on a "real train." Of course the promise of cookies and hot chocolate was also enticing.
The presents are purchased but not wrapped and I am pretty sure I will be spending part of the afternoon in my room wrapping - along with some serious time tonight.
We ran our errands yesterday so that today we could just hang around and relax. It's a beautiful sunny and unseasonably warm day so we'll probably add a long walk on the beach to our Christmas Eve traditions. Tonight we'll have a dinner that consists of appetizers and then take a long walk on around the neighborhood to look at lights and the stars. Then we come back and don our Christmas jammies and watch Christmas movies. Then it will be time to place our stockings under the tree and leave cookies and milk for Santa and some carrots for his reindeer. We're tracking Santa on NORAD. Then we'll all go upstairs in cuddle in bed and read the Night Before Christmas - and then hopefully the kids will be able to sleep. Anna is certain she will be seeing reindeer and I hope she gets her wish.
So although we have moved and things are different some things will never change and for that, I'm happy.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Cookies and cookies oh my
So - it's the big baking weekend here at the Dough house. Every year for the past 7 years or so I've hosted a cookie exchange. Since I have yet to meet anyone here in town this year I'm just going to be making small batches of a variety of cookies. I'll send some to work with Dan but I'm sure with the 4 of us we won't have much of a problem eating the rest!
We'll be making Sand Tarts which are a holiday must in our house, having been passed down through the generations.
We'll make a traditional frosted sugar cookie from a yummy recipe I got from my sister in law a couple years ago that is a great go to recipe.
We'll be making lemon snowflakes which is a cake mix recipe and you won't believe how easy and tasty they are. These were a big hit from my friend Andrea at my cookie exchange last year.
We'll also be making some oreo bark and candy cane bark from Notes from the Cookie Jar - Holiday Version.
We'll also be making the big gingerbread house. We made the little gingerbread graham cracker houses a couple of weeks ago.
Time to preheat!
We'll be making Sand Tarts which are a holiday must in our house, having been passed down through the generations.
We'll make a traditional frosted sugar cookie from a yummy recipe I got from my sister in law a couple years ago that is a great go to recipe.
We'll be making lemon snowflakes which is a cake mix recipe and you won't believe how easy and tasty they are. These were a big hit from my friend Andrea at my cookie exchange last year.
We'll also be making some oreo bark and candy cane bark from Notes from the Cookie Jar - Holiday Version.
We'll also be making the big gingerbread house. We made the little gingerbread graham cracker houses a couple of weeks ago.
Time to preheat!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Not about a computer...
THIS TIME.
I recently had something happen that has happened before, several times in my past. It brought up a lot of old feelings and left me confused and a bit hurt.
I seem to attract the crazies. Maybe it's my own fragile mental status that leads only the similarly fractured psyche's to my doorstep. Maybe I just dig the drama, or perhaps it's just more fun being friends with people on the fluffy side of "normal".
Several times in my life though I've had friends that have just kind of disappeared from our friendship without any real explanation. The space that comes after these kinds of break ups is an ugly one. The self loathing and loss is cruel. Since I tend to be much harder on myself than anyone else can be on me, this particular kind of break up is like a slap to the face. It's even worse when it's a repeated slap. I replay every one of our conversations over and over and over. Searching for things that could have been misunderstood. I try and figure out what I did wrong, what I could have done, how I could have done better.
Sure I've been the dumper before. In fact, one of my friends that has recently come back into my life is someone I dumped in fantastic (now humiliatingly so, as I see how immature and small it was) fashion 10 years ago. It took 10 years of growing up to realize that things got out of hand and we had let some really petty things come between us. I'm so glad that it has worked out the way it has, because it's nice having her in my life again.
The situation at hand is that I was the dumpee. I was left wondering what happened. Did I say something that was misunderstood? Did I inadvertently hurt their feelings? WHAT HAPPENED? A good friend who I love just stops calling. Didn't return my calls and just disappeared.
So... I get an email from a friend who "ding dong ditched" me. She's sorry. She has been doing lot of thinking and misses me. She realizes she was wrong and that she foolishly stopped talking to me because she thought I said something hurtful. Now that she's cooled off - she realizes what I was saying and that she feels terrible. I was being kind and she just didn't want to hear me. She can't believe she took it the way she did. Her other friends pointed out at the time that she was wrong, but she was just so sure.
What do you do? In the past I've been so touched that I've rebuilt friendships. Sadly, these often end the same way again and even more sadly, again and again, because I really should learn. Right? I mean come on already. Do I really think this time it will be LESS painful???????
Someone told me to not respond because we obviously weren't really good friends to begin with.
Ummmmm.
Yeah.
Except she was.
I thought they all were, that's been my problem.
So after insanely defending these friendships, I had a perfect moment of clarity.
That "smack your forehead", proverbial light bulb turning on moment.
It's not me. It's them.
In each of these scenarios I don't know what I did. Why? Because I didn't do anything.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
It wasn't my fault. I'm not a terrible human being. I'm worthy of being some one's friend. I am a good friend. I have many good friends to show for it. People who haven't just up and disappeared.
Now. I'm not saying that I'm not at fault in any of these situations. Strangely enough, I'm sure that it was probably my fault. I mean come on, this doesn't happen to people over and over if they don't do something to make it happen, right? Right????? People make mistakes. I make mistakes.
My problem comes in the fact that these people who I thought were my friends thought I meant them harm. If I said something that hurt them - they automatically thought the worst of me. I mean come on. If I was going to do something relationship ending worthy - I'm pretty sure I'd remember. So, that said, whatever it was that ended these friendships came from someone completely misinterpreting something I said. If they really knew me they would know that I would never want to hurt my friends.
In the situation at hand, I couldn't believe that was why she stopped talking to me, for over a year. Trust me. I wish I could share the details, but first of all it's insanely personal and I don't want to dredge her personal issues here, and second, I just don't want to go through it all. Again.
So, here I am. Email in hand. Wondering. How do I respond? Do I respond?
This time, I'm going to be kind to myself.
I'm not going to do this again.
I am a great friend who would do just about anything for someone. I LOVE my friends. I feel like I go through their shit with them. I want friends who will go through my shit with me.
I deserve friends that believe in me. That know I mean no harm. I deserve real friends who come to me and make sure there wasn't a mistake. Not 6 months later. Not 2 years later. Friends who don't think our friendship is easy to throw away. Friends who are at least kind enough to say goodbye, because sometimes friends grow apart.
I will continue to miss her.
I recently had something happen that has happened before, several times in my past. It brought up a lot of old feelings and left me confused and a bit hurt.
I seem to attract the crazies. Maybe it's my own fragile mental status that leads only the similarly fractured psyche's to my doorstep. Maybe I just dig the drama, or perhaps it's just more fun being friends with people on the fluffy side of "normal".
Several times in my life though I've had friends that have just kind of disappeared from our friendship without any real explanation. The space that comes after these kinds of break ups is an ugly one. The self loathing and loss is cruel. Since I tend to be much harder on myself than anyone else can be on me, this particular kind of break up is like a slap to the face. It's even worse when it's a repeated slap. I replay every one of our conversations over and over and over. Searching for things that could have been misunderstood. I try and figure out what I did wrong, what I could have done, how I could have done better.
Sure I've been the dumper before. In fact, one of my friends that has recently come back into my life is someone I dumped in fantastic (now humiliatingly so, as I see how immature and small it was) fashion 10 years ago. It took 10 years of growing up to realize that things got out of hand and we had let some really petty things come between us. I'm so glad that it has worked out the way it has, because it's nice having her in my life again.
The situation at hand is that I was the dumpee. I was left wondering what happened. Did I say something that was misunderstood? Did I inadvertently hurt their feelings? WHAT HAPPENED? A good friend who I love just stops calling. Didn't return my calls and just disappeared.
So... I get an email from a friend who "ding dong ditched" me. She's sorry. She has been doing lot of thinking and misses me. She realizes she was wrong and that she foolishly stopped talking to me because she thought I said something hurtful. Now that she's cooled off - she realizes what I was saying and that she feels terrible. I was being kind and she just didn't want to hear me. She can't believe she took it the way she did. Her other friends pointed out at the time that she was wrong, but she was just so sure.
What do you do? In the past I've been so touched that I've rebuilt friendships. Sadly, these often end the same way again and even more sadly, again and again, because I really should learn. Right? I mean come on already. Do I really think this time it will be LESS painful???????
Someone told me to not respond because we obviously weren't really good friends to begin with.
Ummmmm.
Yeah.
Except she was.
I thought they all were, that's been my problem.
So after insanely defending these friendships, I had a perfect moment of clarity.
That "smack your forehead", proverbial light bulb turning on moment.
It's not me. It's them.
In each of these scenarios I don't know what I did. Why? Because I didn't do anything.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
It wasn't my fault. I'm not a terrible human being. I'm worthy of being some one's friend. I am a good friend. I have many good friends to show for it. People who haven't just up and disappeared.
Now. I'm not saying that I'm not at fault in any of these situations. Strangely enough, I'm sure that it was probably my fault. I mean come on, this doesn't happen to people over and over if they don't do something to make it happen, right? Right????? People make mistakes. I make mistakes.
My problem comes in the fact that these people who I thought were my friends thought I meant them harm. If I said something that hurt them - they automatically thought the worst of me. I mean come on. If I was going to do something relationship ending worthy - I'm pretty sure I'd remember. So, that said, whatever it was that ended these friendships came from someone completely misinterpreting something I said. If they really knew me they would know that I would never want to hurt my friends.
In the situation at hand, I couldn't believe that was why she stopped talking to me, for over a year. Trust me. I wish I could share the details, but first of all it's insanely personal and I don't want to dredge her personal issues here, and second, I just don't want to go through it all. Again.
So, here I am. Email in hand. Wondering. How do I respond? Do I respond?
This time, I'm going to be kind to myself.
I'm not going to do this again.
I am a great friend who would do just about anything for someone. I LOVE my friends. I feel like I go through their shit with them. I want friends who will go through my shit with me.
I deserve friends that believe in me. That know I mean no harm. I deserve real friends who come to me and make sure there wasn't a mistake. Not 6 months later. Not 2 years later. Friends who don't think our friendship is easy to throw away. Friends who are at least kind enough to say goodbye, because sometimes friends grow apart.
I will continue to miss her.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Advice please???
So.... for those of you who deal with the whole winter thing... how do you deal with the coats/boots/accessories?
We don't have a coat closet (apparently beach houses don't need a place for jackets!) or a great area for this stuff and it's taking over the living room!
Any ideas would be great! The stuff for 5 people for winter is overwhelming to us desert transplants!!
We don't have a coat closet (apparently beach houses don't need a place for jackets!) or a great area for this stuff and it's taking over the living room!
Any ideas would be great! The stuff for 5 people for winter is overwhelming to us desert transplants!!
Shot through the heart...
Ok - not really through the heart, but in the arm, and I guess also in the leg.
The girls had their flu shots today. Anna was first up and happily hopped in my lap like she was getting a shot of sugar. She did great and didn't even wince. I still can't believe that the same girl that screamed so hard after her last shots that they almost sedated her, did great with her shots this time.
Julia was next and although she was trying to talk me into letting Em go next, she did great too.
Then Em was up. She had a flu shot and her polio vaccination. She whimpered a bit after the 2nd one but no crying and she was smiling by the time I finished zipping her sleeper back up.
WOW.
The nurse told the girls that they did great and she wished all the little kids (and big kids) that get their shots were as brave as they were. The receptionist was shocked (as was I) that there was no screaming from our room.
Tough chicks. That's the only kind I breed.
The girls had their flu shots today. Anna was first up and happily hopped in my lap like she was getting a shot of sugar. She did great and didn't even wince. I still can't believe that the same girl that screamed so hard after her last shots that they almost sedated her, did great with her shots this time.
Julia was next and although she was trying to talk me into letting Em go next, she did great too.
Then Em was up. She had a flu shot and her polio vaccination. She whimpered a bit after the 2nd one but no crying and she was smiling by the time I finished zipping her sleeper back up.
WOW.
The nurse told the girls that they did great and she wished all the little kids (and big kids) that get their shots were as brave as they were. The receptionist was shocked (as was I) that there was no screaming from our room.
Tough chicks. That's the only kind I breed.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Baby love...
Life with an infant is helpful if nothing else...
- You no longer have to expend the energy to pull your own hair out, as someone is almost certainly ready to do so for you.
- What are all these people talking about? No more quiet time for reflection? What about all those times in the middle of the night when you are up feeding the baby?
- No need for facials as baby food sneezed or flung on your face is almost certainly to contain some sort of ingredient that will help (vitamin C and lactic acid come to mind!).
- Your hair falling out post partem will mean you'll have less to style. Oh and you'll save money on shampoo and conditioner too.
- When mobile baby breaks all your knick knacks you'll have less to dust.
- Mobile baby also means that any food products missed by the dog will be taken care of faster than you can whip the vaccuum up.
- Screaming baby gets you out of all kinds of unpleasant things: sales calls, random chatty people on the phone, long waits at the lab for tests...
See - babies are cool!
- You no longer have to expend the energy to pull your own hair out, as someone is almost certainly ready to do so for you.
- What are all these people talking about? No more quiet time for reflection? What about all those times in the middle of the night when you are up feeding the baby?
- No need for facials as baby food sneezed or flung on your face is almost certainly to contain some sort of ingredient that will help (vitamin C and lactic acid come to mind!).
- Your hair falling out post partem will mean you'll have less to style. Oh and you'll save money on shampoo and conditioner too.
- When mobile baby breaks all your knick knacks you'll have less to dust.
- Mobile baby also means that any food products missed by the dog will be taken care of faster than you can whip the vaccuum up.
- Screaming baby gets you out of all kinds of unpleasant things: sales calls, random chatty people on the phone, long waits at the lab for tests...
See - babies are cool!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Sunday Six
Kelly from Missing JT Snow has us asking our kids, pets, drunk friends questions every Sunday...
Here are Julia (5) and Anna's (2) answers!
SUNDAY SIX!
Let's talk about Advent!
1. What is Advent?
J- I don't know
A- One, two and six uh huh
2. What do you do for Advent?
J- I don't know
A- Because 3 and 5
3. How many days do we celebrate Advent?
J- 26? or 27?
A- nope
4. What happens when Advent is over?
J- I don't know
A- *pouting*
5. What else do we count down to?
J- I don't know
A- Christmas, wee Santa
6. What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?
J- My birthday, Christmas and my teachers birthday is this week
A- Christmas
Here are Julia (5) and Anna's (2) answers!
SUNDAY SIX!
Let's talk about Advent!
1. What is Advent?
J- I don't know
A- One, two and six uh huh
2. What do you do for Advent?
J- I don't know
A- Because 3 and 5
3. How many days do we celebrate Advent?
J- 26? or 27?
A- nope
4. What happens when Advent is over?
J- I don't know
A- *pouting*
5. What else do we count down to?
J- I don't know
A- Christmas, wee Santa
6. What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?
J- My birthday, Christmas and my teachers birthday is this week
A- Christmas
Christmas
This is going to be one of THOSE posts... the long rambling posts that wraps itself around and comes back and detours and then maybe if we're all lucky somehow manages to wind itself back onto the path for a finish. Maybe. If we're lucky.
I love Christmas. Even though I'm tongue tied both spiritually and intellectually about how I feel about it. I believe but I don't. Deep down inside I do believe. I believe in a higher being. I believe in believing. In faith. Yet also somewhere down inside believes in a scientific method, in fact. I guess where I stand is that I don't want to reconcile the two. I like the safety net that my spiritual faith provides me. I NEED that safety net. So for now, until I'm someday ready to take that plunge 100% into either side I will peacefully (mostly) exist somewhere on the fence. I won't get into my feelings on organized religion, or how I feel about religion as part of our government or schools. Let's just say that I'm spiritual but not necessarily religious, although I want to participate in a religion. I love the altruism that is part of a lot of organized religion. I like the community, the common point that religion and more specifically a church provides. I just don't know. That's kind of the point. I don't know.
Now - back to my point, not that I have one. Christmas. CHRISTmas. I love it. I love all parts of it. Santa Claus, the story of the birth of Christ. The angels. The cookies. The pagan trees. The lights. The carols. The presents. As much as I abhor the commercialism behind it all - I buy into it. Giving of gifts, sharing of THINGS with people. Buying things. Gingerbread houses, decorations. I love it. Fa la la la la.
I tell my kids about Santa. I believe in Santa. I believe in the whole reindeer flying hoopla. I desperately wish it was true. I believe in the whole "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." I have also told my kids that Santa brings us presents for Jesus' birthday. We give each other presents to share our love and celebrate the birth of Christ.
There is something magical about this time of year. Magical. Something that the commercial Christmas doesn't touch. The ooh and and ahhing from the back seat as we see yet another home decorated in hundreds of lights. The time spent together baking, cooking, decorating, singing and wrapping.
I love those quiet moments. That first day with the tree decorated, when the bright sun goes down and slowly the lights of the tree appear brighter and glow and then slowly fill the room. That smell of pine.
I also love the stories, the movies, the songs. Cuddling in bed reading about Santa and Jesus and snow.
Oh and shopping. I actually like the shopping part. Finding something that you think someone else will enjoy. Finding that gift that will make your child's eyes light up on Christmas morning.
I just love Christmas.
I love Christmas. Even though I'm tongue tied both spiritually and intellectually about how I feel about it. I believe but I don't. Deep down inside I do believe. I believe in a higher being. I believe in believing. In faith. Yet also somewhere down inside believes in a scientific method, in fact. I guess where I stand is that I don't want to reconcile the two. I like the safety net that my spiritual faith provides me. I NEED that safety net. So for now, until I'm someday ready to take that plunge 100% into either side I will peacefully (mostly) exist somewhere on the fence. I won't get into my feelings on organized religion, or how I feel about religion as part of our government or schools. Let's just say that I'm spiritual but not necessarily religious, although I want to participate in a religion. I love the altruism that is part of a lot of organized religion. I like the community, the common point that religion and more specifically a church provides. I just don't know. That's kind of the point. I don't know.
Now - back to my point, not that I have one. Christmas. CHRISTmas. I love it. I love all parts of it. Santa Claus, the story of the birth of Christ. The angels. The cookies. The pagan trees. The lights. The carols. The presents. As much as I abhor the commercialism behind it all - I buy into it. Giving of gifts, sharing of THINGS with people. Buying things. Gingerbread houses, decorations. I love it. Fa la la la la.
I tell my kids about Santa. I believe in Santa. I believe in the whole reindeer flying hoopla. I desperately wish it was true. I believe in the whole "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." I have also told my kids that Santa brings us presents for Jesus' birthday. We give each other presents to share our love and celebrate the birth of Christ.
There is something magical about this time of year. Magical. Something that the commercial Christmas doesn't touch. The ooh and and ahhing from the back seat as we see yet another home decorated in hundreds of lights. The time spent together baking, cooking, decorating, singing and wrapping.
I love those quiet moments. That first day with the tree decorated, when the bright sun goes down and slowly the lights of the tree appear brighter and glow and then slowly fill the room. That smell of pine.
I also love the stories, the movies, the songs. Cuddling in bed reading about Santa and Jesus and snow.
Oh and shopping. I actually like the shopping part. Finding something that you think someone else will enjoy. Finding that gift that will make your child's eyes light up on Christmas morning.
I just love Christmas.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
To the Asshat that jacked our tree:
To Mr. Asshat** in the decked out Expedition:
You saw my family pick out that little Christmas tree. You were standing two feet away when my daughter claimed her tree. You were even closer when we paid the Rotary man for said tree. You couldn't have missed hearing Dan tell me he was going to go get the car to load up the tree.
Then - when our backs were turned picking out a beautiful balsam fir wreath you totally jacked our tree.
You know what you did because you threw it in your truck and got the hell out of there in less than 2 minutes.
See Mr. Asshat you didn't steal the tree from me - you jacked it from my 5 year old daughter.
That's why, Mr. Asshat - you are indeed an Asshat.
Suck my butt,
Het Dough
**Thank you to Dad Gone Mad for the awe inspiring term - Asshat. You rock.
You saw my family pick out that little Christmas tree. You were standing two feet away when my daughter claimed her tree. You were even closer when we paid the Rotary man for said tree. You couldn't have missed hearing Dan tell me he was going to go get the car to load up the tree.
Then - when our backs were turned picking out a beautiful balsam fir wreath you totally jacked our tree.
You know what you did because you threw it in your truck and got the hell out of there in less than 2 minutes.
See Mr. Asshat you didn't steal the tree from me - you jacked it from my 5 year old daughter.
That's why, Mr. Asshat - you are indeed an Asshat.
Suck my butt,
Het Dough
**Thank you to Dad Gone Mad for the awe inspiring term - Asshat. You rock.
The saddest little snowman...
The big girls went out and played in the snow this morning and had fun. Anna decided she indeed likes the snow and stayed out for a while.
They made snow angels and a sad little snowman.
Update on Mom...
Thanks for your kind emails - my mom has scheduled the date for the surgery - Jan 18.
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!
Friday, December 08, 2006
Oh, did I mention???
WE HAVE SNOW???????? As in - lots of snow? Flurries were predicted - but some areas right around here ended up with 5 inches or more... we got about an inch or so.
Julia was excited to get suited up in he snow suit and boots (mandatory for school).
This afternoon when the sun came out - I bundled Anna up in her snowsuit and Emma in hers (which she has already grown out of!!!) and took them outside. Anna was very specific about her feelings on the snow, "Momma, yet's go inside. I do NOT yike this snow."
She lasted 10 minutes, which was 8 minutes longer than I expected!
So ... it begins...
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
THE MAN........
Seriously - my husband is great - I've talked about him before and he's a wonderful guy.
Sometimes though - I'd like to just, well, hurt him. Or leave him. or kill him. Just a little.
Last week was not a good one in the world of Dan, this week, not looking good either.
To sum up last week - was half an hour late to watch the girls so I could go to my appointment. I missed my appointment and it cost me the $90 cancellation fee since she can't bill insurance if services aren't provided. Nice. Then the next night he was half an hour late coming home from work so I was late for my physical. Then the next night he couldn't find another ride or take a cab home so I had to drive while partly delusional to pick him up. Do we see a trend here?
I thought all of this was behind us as now that we have 2 cars, I can just go, right?
You'd be sooo wrong.
Today I have to go to the doctor to get a flu shot and some lab work done. No biggie. I pack the diaper bag, get both girls in clean diapers, change their clothes. Get their jackets on. Get ready to leave. No keys. Weird.
I check my jacket. No keys. I check the basket where we keep our keys. No keys.
I call Dan. He doesn't know where they are.
He calls me back. "ummm, I seem to have BOTH sets of keys."
Yeah - somedays I just want to hurt him a little.
Sometimes though - I'd like to just, well, hurt him. Or leave him. or kill him. Just a little.
Last week was not a good one in the world of Dan, this week, not looking good either.
To sum up last week - was half an hour late to watch the girls so I could go to my appointment. I missed my appointment and it cost me the $90 cancellation fee since she can't bill insurance if services aren't provided. Nice. Then the next night he was half an hour late coming home from work so I was late for my physical. Then the next night he couldn't find another ride or take a cab home so I had to drive while partly delusional to pick him up. Do we see a trend here?
I thought all of this was behind us as now that we have 2 cars, I can just go, right?
You'd be sooo wrong.
Today I have to go to the doctor to get a flu shot and some lab work done. No biggie. I pack the diaper bag, get both girls in clean diapers, change their clothes. Get their jackets on. Get ready to leave. No keys. Weird.
I check my jacket. No keys. I check the basket where we keep our keys. No keys.
I call Dan. He doesn't know where they are.
He calls me back. "ummm, I seem to have BOTH sets of keys."
Yeah - somedays I just want to hurt him a little.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Faith...
How do you know when to trust again? How do you go on after your trust is broken?
Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith - hold on and pray it goes better this time.
Sometimes you just have to say goodbye and try to focus on the positive things you remember and remember why and never again.
I've been having a hard time commiting after being burned the last time. Now, I can look back and accept responsibility for why it ultimately failed and the real source of pain is something I could have prevented 100%. I guess looking at it - maybe I am the one that broke the trust? Well - it was a two way street.
All of this has come about now that they want another shot. Do I move forward? Do I just say goodbye and continue living a life without it?
I just don't know. I can still remember the tears and stress and fear. Vividly. Like it was yesterday - not almost 2 months ago to the day.
Yes, it has been 2 months since my computer dumped my profile. When someone goes through something so traumatic time can almost stand still. I remember the panic when I turned it on and unfamiliar screens popped up. When My Pictures was barren. When the pictures of my BAAAAAAABIES were missing. My itunes was pilfered. My life as I knew it was just dumped. Away.
I also remember the weeks following where each time I turned off or restarted my computer I knew I was saying goodbye - again - to all that I had rebuilt during those brief hours to only return to a computer that no longer remembered me. It was if my computer had suffered severe short term memory loss.
Then, slowly, I noticed little changes. Sometimes it would remember the websites I had been to. Other times I no longer had to reload MSN messenger. Then as if it never happened - each time I turned the computer off, it remembered me when I turned it back on.
For the last week I have held my breath each time, daring it to forget me again. Do I dare take the time to reload my favorites? Do I dare take my email off the safe comfy server and send it to Outlook chancing that I'll never see them again?
This time I'll be smarter. I bought 500 million recordable CDs and will back up those pictures and music and documents. I will periodically back up my hard drive so when this disfunctional relationship fails again - I'm not left empty handed.
Sometimes you just have to take a chance.
Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith - hold on and pray it goes better this time.
Sometimes you just have to say goodbye and try to focus on the positive things you remember and remember why and never again.
I've been having a hard time commiting after being burned the last time. Now, I can look back and accept responsibility for why it ultimately failed and the real source of pain is something I could have prevented 100%. I guess looking at it - maybe I am the one that broke the trust? Well - it was a two way street.
All of this has come about now that they want another shot. Do I move forward? Do I just say goodbye and continue living a life without it?
I just don't know. I can still remember the tears and stress and fear. Vividly. Like it was yesterday - not almost 2 months ago to the day.
Yes, it has been 2 months since my computer dumped my profile. When someone goes through something so traumatic time can almost stand still. I remember the panic when I turned it on and unfamiliar screens popped up. When My Pictures was barren. When the pictures of my BAAAAAAABIES were missing. My itunes was pilfered. My life as I knew it was just dumped. Away.
I also remember the weeks following where each time I turned off or restarted my computer I knew I was saying goodbye - again - to all that I had rebuilt during those brief hours to only return to a computer that no longer remembered me. It was if my computer had suffered severe short term memory loss.
Then, slowly, I noticed little changes. Sometimes it would remember the websites I had been to. Other times I no longer had to reload MSN messenger. Then as if it never happened - each time I turned the computer off, it remembered me when I turned it back on.
For the last week I have held my breath each time, daring it to forget me again. Do I dare take the time to reload my favorites? Do I dare take my email off the safe comfy server and send it to Outlook chancing that I'll never see them again?
This time I'll be smarter. I bought 500 million recordable CDs and will back up those pictures and music and documents. I will periodically back up my hard drive so when this disfunctional relationship fails again - I'm not left empty handed.
Sometimes you just have to take a chance.
WishingFish...
I just wanted to update that WishingFish has their ducks in a row! I ordered the handwarmers (from this post)on Friday evening and yesterday (Monday) had them in hand! I didn't even pay for expedited shipping.
Nice.
Nice.
Hold on to that thought...
My mom's surgery was bumped as someone had a rupture and those emergencies take precedent over elective surgeries.
So..... hold on to those positive thoughts and prayers as she'll hear soon when her new schedule date will be.
Thanks again - you guys rock!
So..... hold on to those positive thoughts and prayers as she'll hear soon when her new schedule date will be.
Thanks again - you guys rock!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
It's that time again...
It seems like we've been here before... but could I bother ya'll for some more prayers and positive thoughts for my mom? She's heading back to the hospital for a 2nd attempt on the endovascular coiling procedure for her cerebral aneurysm.
I know she's anxious, nervous and scared... and we're all so hopeful that it is a huge success this time.
Your prayers and well wishes meant so much to her last time.
Thank you so much.
Edited to add that my mom's surgery is actually scheduled for tomorrow (Tuesday) but she's leaving today for the hospital. Thanks so much for your emails and comments!
I know she's anxious, nervous and scared... and we're all so hopeful that it is a huge success this time.
Your prayers and well wishes meant so much to her last time.
Thank you so much.
Edited to add that my mom's surgery is actually scheduled for tomorrow (Tuesday) but she's leaving today for the hospital. Thanks so much for your emails and comments!
Tis the season to be jolly...
So - we didn't get the tree.... the two photo sessions were duds... but we have a new car!
We now have 2 light blue Honda's - we bought a matching little car for our van! They are so cute. It's a 1991 Honda Accord.
We have a space cleared and ready for the tree - but no lights and nothing to put down under the tree. We have wood floors for the first time - so what do people do about that??? water + wood floors + rental house = no return on the security deposit! So - once we figure that out we'll be picking up a tree and commencing the fa la la la las.
Julia and I did some crafts and we watched some Christmas movies and listened to Christmas music.
Oh - and I'm about 3/4 done with my Christmas shopping. YEAH ME!
We now have 2 light blue Honda's - we bought a matching little car for our van! They are so cute. It's a 1991 Honda Accord.
We have a space cleared and ready for the tree - but no lights and nothing to put down under the tree. We have wood floors for the first time - so what do people do about that??? water + wood floors + rental house = no return on the security deposit! So - once we figure that out we'll be picking up a tree and commencing the fa la la la las.
Julia and I did some crafts and we watched some Christmas movies and listened to Christmas music.
Oh - and I'm about 3/4 done with my Christmas shopping. YEAH ME!
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