May 5, 2000 was the day that I found out that I was pregnant with Julia. It was an amazing moment for me. Full of pure elation and utter terror. I can remember every moment of that morning with perfect clarity and other parts of that day are a blur.
As soon as I saw those two lines I knew my life was changed forever. People tell you that all the time as soon as they know you are planning on having kids... "you won't even remember what your life was like before you had kids." it's funny because you know it's true but you SOOOOOO don't KNOW. My friend laughed in my face when I told her I would have no problems taking Julia on the course with me golfing (I got a new set of golf clubs for my birthday 11 days after I found out I was pregnant) ... she laughed. It was a laugh of knowledge, pity at my naivete and mixed with a little bit of bittersweet...
How life is different - you are forced to think beyond yourself in the ultimate of unselfishness, you are entertained by sitting around watching this creation of yours pretty much do... well.. nothing. You are tired, but happy. You want everyone to see this amazing little thing you love with your whole heart but nervous of people spreading germs. Your heart is overpowered by this amazing emotion. There is a quote, "being a mom is the first time you wear your heart on the outside" and it's true. You have never been so full of love but so terrified of something happening.
I definitely get that little laugh when expectant parents talk about how they can continue life as it was before. Some parents can - but most are changed forever.
Now it's 5 years later and I have a beautiful, smart, hilarious, dramatic, sensitive little 4 year old girl. My friends were right - my life is different. Better but different.
So today - 05/05/05 is the 5 year anniversary since I found out I was pregnant. Good things do come in 5s.
No comments:
Post a Comment