Smiles

Last night I was tucking Anna into bed. She had gotten a little crazy earlier in the evening and spent a significant amount of time in time out. She was frustrated, we were frustrated.

She was starting to calm down and she had returned to the sweet little girl we're used to. I snuggled with her for a minute and we sang the bedtime songs (they each pick any song to sing, but then we always sing Rock A Bye Baby, You are my Sunshine, and Golden Slumbers).

I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her and said Goodnight.

She then grabbed me, gave me a big hug and said, "It's ridiculous how much I love you"

Indeed it is.

Google this

Ok. I'm a Ch*aCh*a guide. I love it. It's fun, I have to research some seriously interesting stuff, and right now it's free to text ANY question to them at 242two42 and a person will do a search and get back to you. I used it to find a store. People at Sundance are using it find out abou film times, line wait times and what not. People ask us EVERYTHING.

Now, that being said, I am in love. I know I know. It's something new everyday. Well, it's frequent. I get giddy about things. I can't help it.

I'm a geek. I have loved Google Reader for ummm.... forever. I read a lot of blogs. A LOT. This cuts so much time off my daily reading. It is super easy to use. I even use it for non-blog sites tht get updated regularly. If you spend a lot of time online reading blogs, I'd take a minute and look into it. (google.com/reader)

So then today... it happened. I found my online counterpart. I LOVE GOOGLE. Seriously, those people know what the hell they are doing.

Let me tell you how much I love the Google apps.

google calendar is A-freaking-mazing. It is exactly what I've been looking for in a calendar for months and months and months, ok, years. I have a calendar for my stuff, which is linked to different calendars for each kid, and Dan has one for his work stuff and then one for work stuff that I need to know about (which is linked to my calendar). Let's just say WHOOO HOOO! The features are never ending and it really meets all my needs. I can email or text to my calendar and it will add events. I can get reminders for events emailed or texted to me. Awesome. Now I can't wait for my iphone. There is a quick add feature where I can type something like "dance rehearsal on Thursday 9am" then on Thursday at 9am it will add "dance rehearsal" Seriously. cool shit.

There are other apps that are equally as cool, but I have not spent a whole lot of time screwing around with... google docs is awesome for working with my clients. They can securely download a document, and I can proof, edit and reformat it. So cool. I can also create a document online and he client can instantly edit it or add their info to it.

Then of course there is google notebook, which is kind of like your online "favorites" or "bookmarks" on stero1ds. You can drag and drop info from a website into different notebooks. You can access this info from your phone too.

Seriously, you can find programs to render 3D models (sketch-up), watch videos (now youtube), gmail (less spam email)... oh geez, the list goes on and on.

All I can tell you is I'm all for anything making my life easier, more convenient and keeps my stuff in one place. I'm going to give google a big, huge, thumbs up.

Moving on...

Since there is no post that is really appropriate to follow the last one, I will just move on.

Dan and I took Julia, Anna, Em and their friend M to see "The Pirate's Who Don't Do Anything" on Saturday.

It went well.

Ha

From the opening credits, ANNA was terrified. Of vegetables dressed like pirates! My little pirate fan was miserable. She's even seen them before, many a time in the movie Jonah. So she was plugging her ears and putting her head on her lap. M kept saying she wanted to go home and see her Dad and watch Hello Kitty. Julia was fine as long as there was candy. Em was fine until Dan got up to take Anna and M out. Then all Hell broke loose. They were in and out. Finally at one point I was sitting in the theater by myself, watching vegetables sing and dance. I grabbed their coats and headed out.

Now, there were tears. The kids who couldn't sit in the theater for 3 minutes without crying, whining or having to go potty were devastated the fun had to end.

We did get a refund on the tickets, the popcorn and candy we'll chalk up to a learning experience.

I did take Julia back to the theater yesterday to see Enchanted (she was sitting and trying to watch the Pirate movie, so I felt bad making her leave).

I loved it. I found myself laughing out loud many, many times. I cried twice (because of the daughter) and wanted to applaud at the end. I'm not a huge Patrick Dempsey fan. Well, I am, but pre Grey's Patrick. I should say, I'm not a big McDreamy fan. This movie reminded me of all the reasons I used to like him so much. It's cute, it's light, it's fun, and I liked the fact that it had the message of believing in fairytales but sometimes taking the proverbial sword in hand to fight your own battles.

So, two thumbs up.

Oh, and Julia sat still for the entire movie. It was so much nicer than attempt 1.

Ohhhh, I can't wait to see Prince Caspian!!

Hug those babies close...

My friend Mimi, who I only know through what she has shared online, lost her son today.

Julian, who I mentioned before, but not by name, has earned his wings today. He lost his battle to Medulloblastoma.

This sweet boy who has such a beautiful smile and has touched so many is finally at peace.

Please keep Mimi and her family (she has 3 other little boys) in your prayers as they go through these days without King Julian.

If you'd like to read about Julian you can visit his care pages to see pictures of his beautiful smile and read about Mimi and her journey through this with Julian. You have to register to log in, but it's free.

Go to www.carepages.com
Click "Visit a CarePage"
Register (first-time users only)
After you've registered, enter the exact CarePage Name below:
JuliansWorld

How cool is this idea?

My friends son has a birthday right before Christmas. This little guy doesn't want for anything, he has bikes, motorbikes, a quad, every gaming system known to man, toys up the wazoo. He's a great kid. He decided this year he wanted to have an "Army" birthday party.

My friend decided in lieu of gifts for her son, she would have people bring an unwrapped gift to be donated to a local charity that helps out soldier's families while they are deployed (going with the Army theme).

She felt free to invite as many kids as she wanted then and they ended up have all he kids from his class, the neighborhood, and his soccer team.... it was over 30 kids in all. They had a huge stack of toys to take to the charity.

Her son had a blast (he had plenty of gifts from his parents and relatives) and was SO proud when he dropped off all those toys!

Bad mommy...

Since our return we've been really pushing a new regime with the kids. While two weeks with Meemaw is like heaven for the girls, the two weeks after lead to cranky, cranky kids.

Wha??? No sugary marshmallow breakfast cereal?

Huh? No Fresca with dinner?

No fair! We can't go swimming?

This is terrible! I don't have anyone to cater to my whims 24/7.

So we've been working on attitude adjustments. Lots of counting negative behavior and time outs (gotta love 1 2 3 Magic!).

As for our sanity, we spent the last two weekends doing our 2nd sweep of out with the old in with the new. Boxes of shoes/clothes and toys to the donation bin, and boxes for organizing toys coming in. We went through the girls things and found places for everything. Everything has a place. They are expected to put things in those places.

I know. Crazy parents.

Today was a snow day. We had a foot of snow. And it still falling at a fast clip. Julia's school was cancelled and then her dance class was cancelled. For the most part we had a great day. They played nicely and we had a good time.

Then it was time to clean up the mess. Hardy har har.

After numerous polite requests, I pulled out the big gun. I gave them a 10 minute warning that they need to START picking their toys up.

Nothing.

SO. Without a word, I picked up the toys in the dining room and put them in a trash bag. NO threats. No yelling.

Julia lost it when she found out what had happened. She was yelling at me, so she was sent for a time out. I calmly explained I gave her and her sisters plenty of time to clean it up.

So, she went upstairs for an attitude adjustment. Then the letters began.

Anna was her courier.

The first read: Sorry Mommy, I want my toys back now. Love Julia I will take care of my toys.

Then the second: To Mammy, I love you a lot. Love Julia

Then the third: To Het, We want are(sp?) toys back. Love Anna

Then the 4th: Melmo, Melmo, Melmo From Emma

Then the 5th: ga ga go From Baby Alive

Then the 6th: Nana nana From Tena (the horse)

She did make me laugh, but the toys are staying in the bag. They will go up in the closet in time out.

Thanks ya'll

Thank you so much for your concern. The emails and comments were so great and I appreciate it.

I'm doing okay. So much better really. There is a lot going on in our lives and my "brave face forward" just had a momentary weak spot. I have been working really hard on being optimistic, but I do falter.

I met with my treatment team tonight (wow, so official) and they all agree that they think my symptoms are from the Zoloft wean and not from the Wellbutrin. So, they are doubling my Wellbutrin and I'm supposed to be watching carefully over the next few days. If the dizziness increases or the "agitation" gets worse then I am supposed to call soon. I was worried I was really crazy, that I was honestly losing my mind. My PCP really explained to me what was physiologically happening right now and that I haven't just developed a major mental illness.

My doctor said that the reason she did not wean from the zoloft is because she was putting me on the wellbutrin and the combination of the two lowers the threshold for seizures in some people. So, with my BP being under maintenance she just felt it was safer to go with the switch.

So, not to continue the pity fest, I'm really ok for the most part. I have happy moments surrounded by some scary stuff. The worst part is that I just have no idea when it hits.

Two families I am semi acquainted with are going through some ugliness. My next door neighbor (they moved while we were on vacation though) was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 28. She has 3 kids and it's not going well for her. Her MIL is in the final stages of liver cancer (genesis endometrial cancer) and over the holidays their house had significant water damage and ruined many of their belongings. If you could just send some happy thoughts their way I would greatly appreciate it.

The other family is someone I "met" online through a blogger I frequent. I've been following little Julian's trials for as long as they've been posted. He is a 4 year old boy who had a medullablastoma and he is very close to getting his wings. His mother writes a very inspirational journal on his care page and I feel so touched by the entire family, I would love if you could send some strength thoughts their way.

Ok, now that I have brought the mood down, I'll send you all on your way.

2007 Portion of our Trip...

Because that's all I have!

I left my camera battery in the charger at my parents, so there were no photos taken after Dec 30.

The other criteria for these photos are that they are they only ones in the horizontal format. Office isn't working on this computer (this is my long dead computer that was sent off for repairs while we were gone over the holidays, can I give a shout out to Notebook Mechanix? They ROCK!!) I need to enter my product key, and it's in a box on it's way here.

See there was fun to be had!! The girls LOVED swimming in December. My parents pool was over 90 degrees while we were there. It was all Julia and Anna talked about for the 2 weeks leading up to the trip!

Beautiful Birthday girl...

One of the best moments on our trip (ok the one hour massage was fantastic too!!) was celebrating Julia's 7th birthday.

I am acutely aware of what a brilliant, beautiful, kind daughter I have and I see how quickly she's growing.

Awwww....

We interrupt this broadcast (m)

So. I am apparently nutso. The whole zoloft cold turkey thing isn't as humorous as I made it out. The psychotic episode warning on the bottle isn't just for show. I'm ok. Everyone is ok. Yesterday was scary, scary, scary and that was for everyone involved. I was SOOOO on my way to being the new Spears child.

Oh by the way, it was my PCP that took me off of the Zoloft. It wasn't Dr. Het. She did warn me I might be "agitated" for a couple of weeks. Yeah. Agitated.

I'm back under the care of a well trained medical staff. All will be well. They all agree that I am experiencing the ugliness of the zoloft.

So, until I can get back into my humorous review of Trip of Fun 2007/2008 I will just share some pictures from the trip. As you can see... we did find time to have a great time in between pure madness.

Day ONE

So our trip began with the alarming news that Dan had to work the morning that we were leaving.

For those that know Dan, know that this did not bode well for our timeline.

We ended up leaving our house at the time we intended to arrive at the airport.

Can you say holy hell?? How do we get all of our stuff checked in, drop the car off at the off site parking, and get 3 kids worth of stuff through security.

Dan and I split up. I took Em and Anna and stood in line to have our bags checked in at the skycap. Then I headed off to the security checkpoint.

The girls were great and we headed to our gate. They were boarding and so I headed to the preboard area to get in line.

They had me wait a moment until they finished boarding group A.

Little did I know they were summoning the big guns to tell me my ass was too big for their plane. The little ticket taker agent guy was so cute. He was too nervous to tell me what was going on, so he pulled me on the the little jetway thing to have his manager tell me my ass was big. The manager was super nice. She apologized since it was unneccesary since I was flying with two children and would have plenty of room for my excess ass if necessary. She escorted me on the plane to help me get situated with the kids which was super helpful. She was pleased as punch when my sizable ass fit in the seat. She also informed me that this was brought to her attention because there was another "customer of size", or C O S as it were, on the flight. She did not purchase an extra seat for her left butt cheek and since the flight was full, she was going to have to fly with half an ass on the plane and half out.

All of this fun and excitement was a nice diversion to my other concern. That my husband and daughter hadn't arrived. The plane was full. Very, Very full.

They made it on, as in last people on the plane made it on.

It was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG six hour flight. The girls did really well, but we were all ansty to get off the plane.

My ears did not pop on the descent and I was in quite a bit of pain. I started popping decongestants in hope of relieving the pain.

Oh, before I forget. Here is where I mention that as we pulled our bags of the carousel Dan was panicked that one of our bags didn't arrive. I pointed out that all of our bags were indeed there. I checked them myself. 3 bags. Another Holy Hell moment. Dan had put one of our bags in the middle of the van and I had only pulled the bags out of the back. Of course it was Dan and Julia's suitcase. The two people in our house who do NOT need a single additional piece of clothing.

Did I mention we landed at 830p AZ time (1030P EST) and the kids did not sleep on the plane? Not at all? After bathroom breaks and fun at the luggage carousel, Anna and Em and I hung out side the airport waiting for Dan, Julia and little tiny rental car to arrive. At 11pm AZ time (1am EST) they pull up in an electric blue Toyota Camry. We load up and head directly to In and Out for dinner. By the time we had our food, 2 of the 3 kids were sleeping and Julia apparently was too tired to eat. That left Dan and I with 2 Double Doubles, 3 grilled cheese sandwiches, 2 milkshakes, 2 lemonades and 1 coke. Oh and 3 fries.

We make it to our hotel and are pleasantly surprised at how nice it is. We head up in the special "key card" elevator to our special floor. The room is awesome. A big old flat panel tv, cookies and milk and relaxing music set out. In a room with one King bed. Yes. One King bed. for FIVE people. No crib either. It was midnight (2am for my girls) and everyone was spent. The hotel kindly and quickly moved us across the hall to an equally cool room but one with 2 double beds and a crib. Everything is great except Anna is moaning as she tries to sleep. From a little after midnight until 2am I rocked her as she cried. Her little ears didn't pop either. Dan ran out to Walgreens and bought some Ibuprophen. She was out at 2am. I was out at 2:01am. Oh, did I forget the EST time? That would be 4:01AM Eastern Standard time.

At 430am the fire alarm begins chirping. After 10 minutes and it doesn't appear to be stopping, we call the front desk. Em wakes up and isn't thrilled. I spend until five AM getting her back to sleep. I bet you can't guess what time Julia woke up. That would be SIX. as in A.M.

I guess technically we're at Day 2 of the trip... So I'll leave you with the promise of dust and vomiting and hysteria for the rest of the day. Did I mention my doctor had me go cold turkey off of my Zoloft and start my Wellbutrin on this trip. You KNOW more hilarity will ensue... I know you can't wait!

Never enough

So, before I delve into the fun (in another post) that was Arizona Trip 2007 let me first begin with my Christmas List for 2008.

Yep, you heard me. Christmas. 2008

I never know what I want. I really don't have many needs. When I need to come up with a list for people who care about me and want to buy things or me I stammer like a crazy person. I love catalogs. Some would say I have an addiction. If I was to win the lottery I would buy everyone all the little things I see in the catalogs that I think are perfect for them...

Although this year I got one of the best gifts ever (my parents bought me a one hour massage that was awesome and amazing!!!)... I'm ready for 2008.

Yes this might change in the next 340 some odd days until next Christmas shopping season, but it's a pretty good start.

Number 1 through 3 on my list are the Amish figurines from Jim Shore. They are awesome. I have a collection of cast iron Amish figurines that used to be my Grandmothers. These would be a great addition to my collection. My great grandmother was one of the Plain People (with electricity) but strangely enough, not on the side of the family where I received my collection.

My next request would be for some AS SEEN ON TV fun. The Vidalia Chop Wizard would be awesome for cooking with the kids.

My next ideas are kind of a theme... I love them all. I do not wear jewelry, but I think this jewelry is classic and meaningful. I love quotes more than just about anything. Combining simple, beautiful peices with words that move me, is just about perfect. I don't necessarily want these, and certainly not them all, but these are some of my favorite.

* "Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul." Emily Dickinson

* "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." Helen Keller

* "Remember what is important to you"

* "Nothing is worth more than this day."

* "I love you, I love you more" I love the Mobius style... it's so cool!!

Ok that's it for now... It's probably more like 3 years worth of birthday/Christmas gifts but there we go...

Holy Hell We're Home

Our trip recap will have to be done in multiple parts. It was just too full of blogworthy goodiness to spew at one time.

Let's just say that from the moment we were SUPPOSED to be leaving on our trip, the fun began and it just didn't end until we were nestled back in our Maine beds.

To tease you I'll highlight some topics we'll be covering (not necessarily in order)... in bulleted form for your convenience.

* Almost missing planes
* Vomiting
* My fat ass
* Cold turkey off Zoloft
* Visits cut short
* Birthday cakes
* Unexpected shopping trips (3)
* Drinking
* Significant lack of drinking
* Hot tubbing
* Crying kids
* Rashes
* Crying moms
* Did I mention stopping Zoloft cold turkey
* Storage unit debacles
* Credit card debacles
* Panic attacks
* Hour long massages
* Christmas
* Happy kids
* Returning home to sub zero weather
* 12 inches of snow

Oh yes, it was fun. We did have nice moments, and it was wonderful to visit with old friends and spend time with my family. Unfortunately we weren't able to see more than half of the people we had hoped to and or that, I'm sincerely disappointed.

We're home, and we know now that this is indeed our home.