Uh uh, it wasn't me...

Is it unusual for a 2 year old to accuse everyone else of having poop when she's carrying the load?

Em's new thing is when Dan or I smell poop, we'll ask, "Em, do you have poop?" Her reply, "No, Na Na do." (Na Na is Anna)

Then we'll say, "No, Anna doesn't have poop."

Em says, "oh. Juya do?" (Juya is Julia)

and so on... "momma do? daddy do? catty do?"

At no point does she break down and admit that she is the cause for the odor. She's tough.

I wanna hold your hand...

So, the bed is assembled and I'm very surprised by the quality and how sturdy it is. We bought this particular one because it's low to the ground so if there is tomfoolery (Dan's word) the collateral damage might be less. If I had to do it over I would have switched a couple of the boards around so that the white side was on the side most evident, but maybe I'll get around to that some other time. The giant canopy ruins the look of the room, but it's super cool to sleep with at night. With just their little nightlight in the room, the white dots look like stars.

I get Julia all tucked in last night and she's obviously a bit uncomfortable. I can't figure out why. Anna comes in from her bath and gets dressed in her pjs and then is all tucked in on the bottom bunk. Anna is uncomfortable.

After about 10 minutes it becomes evident they don't like this set up. Anna finally whispers, "momma, I don't like this, I can't see Julia" Julia replies with, "Mom, I'm kind of lonely up here."

They ended up sleeping together on the bottom bunk.

I had a cry.

IKEA, SCHMIKEA

OH how I love IKEA. This was NOT that trip though. By the time we left I had sworn more times than the previous 10 years prior to that afternoon. I can sum up our trip in 3 words (well, with a contraction)

Em didn't nap.

Julia was the only one who qualified to go into Smaland. Damnit.

We have all recovered, and the warm fuzzy IKEA feelings are coming back. I will say though, the Staughton, MA store is a wreck in the self service area. We spent an HOUR looking for a stupid mattress. Well, a choice of 5 mattresses. Not one of them was where they were supposed to be. Not just sold out, but other things were in their place. Those Aisle/Bin tags were worthless. We ended up finding a mattress on our way out, they had moved
one of them into the center display. I said one or two curse words at that point. Then all was forgotten when we saw the receipt and then it all fit into the van like a glove, thanks to my research and prior measuring. Nice.

Then, we had the brilliant idea of heading to the mall in Natick. They have a PF Changs, isn't that worth it? And a Bare Escentuals. We ended up spending WAY too much time in Natick. I did get to go to the Container Store and bought a few containers. DUH! Then, I needed to get to the F portion of the mall. we took a long time finding the entrance I needed since Dan and I were not at our communicating best. Dan was pulling the whole, "I think I know where I need to go so I will not listen to you who is not driving and is actually able to read the signs and may know where we are going, and oh yeah you have a map of the mall, but that means nothing and oooops I went the wrong way again." I was just pissy. It was good times folks. Then we finally made it inside (seriously, after 30 minutes of driving around the outside). The mall was very cool, very, ummm swanky, with a lot of stores I would like to shop in if I had a bazillion dollars and a lot of stores I wouldn't shop in even if I had a bazillion dollars. We ended up not going to PF Changs since we didn't think the girls would hold up long enough. We then spent too long trying to figure out what to have for dinner. Dan had California Pizza Kitchen and the girls and I had Cheesecake Factory. We ate in the car. It worked out swell. The girls watched Bug's Life and I kept my sanity and we ate great food. Then we drove around forever looking for the bank so we could get cash to pay for tolls since they don't like debit cards much. Then we drove around some more. Then we got on the toll road.

Then we drove home with 3 girls sleeping in the back.

Today is assembly day.

Like I do

So, Jericho is over. I guess I'll have to find my Skeet Ulrich fix somewhere's else. Boo.

Did I mention I did our Fed t*axes? Well, I did. Now I just have to pay to the lovely state of Maine. We owe them. Surprise.

I'm cooking up a storm lately. Making dinner at home everynight with a menu is so much easier than my old manner of whipping something up. The only problem I'm running into is because I know what we're having for dinner, I start thinking about it early in the day. All day long I think about it. Weird.

Winter is fleeing. I know in my heart of hearts that there is more snow on the way, but I can smell Spring coming. I am just about to reach the point where I'm done with this white stuff. I know in November I'll be itching for it again! Pretty soon when I look out my office window I'll see bright green everywhere, and my view of the blue sky will be blocked. Can't wait.

We're going to IKEA this weekend. Oh how I love IKEA. As I've mentioned before, I'm not a fan of all their styles, but I have been able to find things I love there. The girls love the play area, and we're all big fans of the cafeteria. Weird. I know. I'm ok with your judgement. We might buy a new shower curtain. *gasp* big spenders I know. A cabinet for in my office, dressers and maybe some new chair covers for the girls Mammut seats. We'll see. I know I've talked about this before, but come on. It's big excitement for me. We're leaving the state for goodness sakes. We'll go to TWO other states. Seriously. Excitement. We might even go to the outlets in NH. Shut up. I know. We're awesome. Fear me.

Oh, did I mention hockey? The girls loved them some hockey. I used to be quite a fan. In fact I spent the night of my 21st birthday out with two of my girlfriends having drinks and then watching a movie *yawn*, and then hurried to my old apartment to watch the Red Wings game with my new tenants. Oh. and drink some beers. Legally.

Speaking of turning 21. Do you know who got me super drunk in honor of my 21st? My in-laws. Dan was away at Camp Lejeune for the Marines and the night after my birthday they wanted to take me out for dinner. (Awkward moment at dinner, one of my ex boyfriends mother came up to me to tell me how much she missed me, and how much my ex loved me. She about died when I introduced her to Dan's parents. She thought they were mine. OOPS). She bought me a drink though. We went to dinner, and then out to get drinks. They ordered me drink after drink after drink. I kid you not, that some of the drinks were glowing. At least I think they were. We went to three different bars, and I was D R U N K. Shitty even. It should come as no surprise that my Mother-in-law is also who got me drunk at our after wedding reception, reception on the beach. Tequila. It will do it everytime.

This little free flow has gone in unexpected places. drunken places. I like that.

Unfortunately my current situation has imposed itself upon me, and would like to take a nap. My presence is requested. She would like some "nee nee". YesImstillbreastfeedingbutyoubetterwatchyourmouththankyouvery muchbecauseIamverysensititveaboutbeingjudgedinthismannersince IneverthoughtIdbenursinga2yearoldlittlegirldidIhearyoujustcluckyour
tongueatmereallygetoffmybackalreadydamnitImagrownwomanandshe
wasalreadyweanedonceandI wouldrathersleepthandosomereal
parentingandweanagainIve resignedmyselftonursinguntilcollegenow
goaway.

The last role of psycho demon mother was played by MOI. The Het.

*bow*

Spring cleaning

What have I been up to?

Well, lets see. I have been submitting proposals for jobs. (keep your fingers crossed)

I've been doing lots and lots of laundry.

I was supposed to be in training for my binding authority this week and next week. That didn't quite work out, but I think it lit a fire under my fat arse. I've been selling baby stuff on craigslist and I'm getting ready to list a bunch of baby clothes on ebay. I packed up boxes and boxes of stuff for charity and, guess what, it actually made it there.

Did I mention the laundry?

This weekend we're hoping to head to IKEA in Massachusetts to check out some dressers (Dan and I do not have any) and possibly a bunk bed for the girls. We'll need to restock our plastic plates/bowls and cups for the girls since our neighbor seems to like them so much we don't get them back.

Sunday is going to be spent finishing my office (our current dressers are the bookshelves that are supposed to be in my office) and going to a hockey game.

Next weekend is a big weekend in the Dough house. It's clean out the storage unit weekend. We are renting a truck and will be hauling mass quantities of things to charity, craigslist, freecycle, the recycling center and the dumpster. Then we're moving into a tiny little unit at less than half the cost. Yeah us! I would love to say we could get by without one at all, but in our townhouse there isn't a lot of storage for bulky items (bikes for 5 people immediately comes to mind) and we don't have a garage or outdoor storage space.

The girls are doing great, and itching for Spring (I mean real Spring, not the little date that passed by last week). Unfortunately I see snow in our forecast. The good news is Spring is close enough to get excited about. I'm not stir crazy yet, but I will also be glad when the warm weather rolls around. Spring is what makes Winter worth bearing!

Julia will be in school until almost the end of June due to the snow days they have accumulated. Anna is busy NOT potty training. Emma is busy being 2 and expanding her vocabulary by leaps and bounds daily.

So, that's us in a nutshell. Whew. I'm spent.

Mom Update

Geez, I'm sorry I'm such a slacker here. I didn't realize that my last post didn't make it up here. OOPS.

Mom is home. She is doing great. She's busy with her surprise visitors (my brother last weekend and her best friend from HS this week) and continuing to get better.

Thank you so much for your prayers and positive thoughts!

Oh how cute....

So, in honor of Easter we decided to bake a cake in the likeness of what Easter in our house boils down to. The Easter Bunny.

I could go into a long blog about my feelings on this matter, about the lack of "religion" in our household. I'm not into that right now.

Anyway, it was carrot cake and it was GOOD! We even made fluffy white frosting. Oh, and let me add that in order to rid our home of both jelly beans and cake, we brought the bow tie and ears to our neighbors!

Happy Easter!

I think someone liked their chocolate!




Easter was a big hit here. We all had a great day. Dinner was delicious and the dessert, well, that's another post!

Good clean fun...

So... it's bedtime. Em is still riding her sugar high, so sleep eludes us all. The frosting has been bathed from her face, hair and other parts where fluffy white frosting likes to hide. She is a happy little girl.

She was so happy to come home from picking up Julia from rehearsal and find the wall decorated with her favorite Sesame characters. She was so excited. She just sat and pointed at them and giggled.

Dinner was mac and cheese and hot dogs. Her favorite. Sadly the broccoli had gone bad, otherwise all three of her favorite foods would have been represented.

Presents were opened. Smiles.

Singing occured, protests for us to be quiet. She does not enjoy our singing. I think she's a bit like her mom, it makes her uncomfortable to have people singing at her.

Cake was devoured.

She's 2.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Happy Birthday Amma, Mimi, Ems, EmmaB.

We love you Emma Leigh Clare!

The inevitable...

It's been on my mind, so it was bound to end up on here. You know those birthday posts to your kids where you talk about where you were this time years ago right before they were born...

Two years ago today....

HA!

Seriously though, more important than where I was physically 2 years ago, is where I was mentally.

Looking back, I experienced pretty severe post-partum depression after I had Anna. It's amazing how when you are in it, you can find a way to explain everything away, but in hindsight it glaringly obvious.

We had moved at the end of my pregnancy with Anna. I was so lonely and shut down. I can see the times where I just didn't function. I didn't leave my house. Then there were bright spots and I know that those are what pulled me through. Julia and Anna were exactly what I needed during that time. They made me try to be a better mom and person.

Before Anna was even a year old, I surprisingly found myself pregnant again. After having some assistance in overcoming my PCOS to get pregnant with Julia and Anna I was surprised to become pregnant. A few days later a blood test confirmed my results, the blood test two days later confirmed I miscarried. I had only known I was pregnant for less than a week. Yet, I had already planned a nursery, thought about what we needed, and made room for this baby. My heart hurt. This began the darkest part of that time.

When Anna was 15 months old, I made the decision that I was ready to have my tubes tied. The very next day I had a positive pregnancy test. I was in shock. I hadn't had another cycle since the miscarriage, and although I knew that I could get pregnant on my own, it was still a surprise. I know all about the birds and the bees, and more than your average bear in terms of fertility, and let's just say, I had reason to be surprised. This baby was no immaculate conception, but you couldn't get closer!

Two weeks later my parents had their accident. This was a huge turning point in all of our lives. Two hours before my first OB appointment I received the call that my parents had been taken to a trauma unit and were at the time, still in critical care.

My pregnancy with Emma was plagued with the accident, Dan's job loss and the beginning of our financial downward spiral. There were many happy moments, preparing for her arrival. I found that I had a strength I didn't know I had. I realized that I had some amazing people who were like angels helping us through all of that.

Also during this time, I felt resigned. I allowed my doctor to manage my care in a way that I normally wouldn't have allowed. I felt like I was sleepwalking through most of my pregnancy. Scared it too would end, and scared to hope.

Two years ago today, I was battling depression, and anxiously waiting to call the OB department back to find out about my inducement.

My labor was just like my pregnancy. Surprising. I had expected the quick 5 hour labors of her big sisters, but Em wasn't ready. I spent my labor flat on my back or on my side, in bed. Hooked up to tubes and machines. Machines to force contractions, machines to slow contractions, machines to mask the pain. It was so medically managed that you would think I hadn't a care in the world. In fact just the opposite was true. I was battling my own demons during that labor. While Dan slept at my side, I cried. I questioned my parenting abilities, I questioned where our life was. My husband didn't have a job and I was bringing another mouth into the world. I was insanely worried with her slowing heart rate and terrified when it quickened.

My labor with Em was terrible. It was everything my labor with Anna was not. With Anna I had a doula by my side, a nursing staff who supported all of my decisions. I had friends and family there providing me with the necessary strength and distraction I needed. I felt powerful and in control. I remember bragging to the doctor about what I good pusher I was. That labor was about me and what my body can do. My labor with Em was a battle with science and medicine.

Even after she was born, I felt uneasy with her. Mothering her did not come naturally to me as it did with her sisters. I felt like I was charged with the care of someone else's child. She would spit up and choke and I'd panic and call the nurses. I remember checking her bassinet frequently to make sure she was alive.

That feeling didn't leave at home. I slipped into a more frightening depression, that was easily explained away by my lack of sleep and our situation at home. Em cried all the time. It was a struggle to get through each day.

I'm going to admit something that I don't believe I've ever even said out loud before, and here I am sharing this boldly with the entire Internet (or the 10 people who read this!). I didn't even like her. She was beautiful, and I would sit there and stare at her as she nursed (which she did all the time. Nonstop. Seriously. Like 15 hours a day.) I just wished I could take it all back. At the time I couldn't see ahead of me. I was living minute to minute and I dreaded the next minute. I'd leave for an hour to go to the store, desperate for time away, but knowing that she was at home screaming. Then I'd feel guilty and it would take me days or weeks to build up enough courage to leave without her again.

Then the diagnosis of reflux. Then the medicine. Then some sanity. I was so relieved she had reflux, it wasn't my milk, it wasn't my parenting, it wasn't all the stress around her. I had secretly built all of those excuses into my care. I didn't care if chunks of my n*i*pples were falling off. It was a way of punishing myself.

When she was 4 months old, we moved to Maine for a job for Dan. By the time she was 7 months I was medicated and in therapy for depression. Slowly over the next year, the panic, fear, anger, sadness, hatred (of myself), guilt and depression started to lift.

I now see that during those times, those dark times, she was not the cause of my anguish, rather she was the glimmer of hope. The distraction. The reason to smile. These girls of mine did make it worth living.

My relationship with Emma Leigh has changed. I see her charm. I see the sparkle in her eye. I would even dare to say on the eve of her 2nd birthday, I have finally gotten rid of the feeling that I'm raising someone else's child (or wild dog as it were) and that she is my own. That is a hard thing to admit as a mother, but it's true. We have finally bonded. She is my partner in crime. She is my baby. She's an amazing little girl who is endlessly funny, witty even, she's smart and kind and beautiful and charming. She is also particular, outspoken, loud, demanding and stubborn. Over time though I'm less frustrated by these personality traits and more encouraged by them. She is going to be a strong woman with a good heart.

Toot toot.... that's my own horn right there....

enough of the ellipses..........

So, I'm on a bit of a cooking swerve.

I realized the other night as I was putting together dinner that I am comfortable in the kitchen. I don't know how it happened or when, but it did.

I'm ok with experimenting. I love recipes, but I know what to substitute if I don't have everything and I consider them a jumping off point. My cutting skills have improved and I have just kind of found my way. I remember when I first moved out, cooking was a debacle night after night.

I called my mom more often than not, and recipes were something I clung to for dear life.

Some recent successes:
- Beef with peapod stirfry
- Cherry crumble muffins
- an amazing lasagna
- Sweet and Sour Shrimp (in little pineapple boats!!)
- oh and some fabulous fajitas

I wish I had photos of all of these things, but the lighting in our kitchen and dining room is horrid at best, and I rarely cook during the day. Someday when that box arrives with my two new lenses, my slave flash, my bounce, I'll be ready. I want to join the ranks of the amazing blogs I read that feature yummmmmy food photos.

Notes from the Cookie Jar and Smitten Kitchen to name my current favorites.

Tonight was bison chili, but I admit it was from a bag. But absolutely delicious.

Mom update

So...

Mom is apparently doing pretty well. Her PT is going much better than they expected, her speech is great and overall she's hanging in there.

She's still really tired, but it's a lot of work healing from this kind of thing.

Best news: She might be going home sooner rather than later. (Maybe in the next week or so instead of next month!!)

Thank you so much for all your prayers and positive thoughts, they mean so much to us all!

Speaking of Anna news

How cool is this. Anna has been in a young kids dance (well, movement) class. We opted not to send her back this Spring since we are trying to put every penny towards... well, to things where people don't like it when you don't give them their pennies.

Her teacher just emailed me and asked if Anna could join their class again. FOR FREE. She said it's just a small class and it's so different without her. She and the other director were talking about the class and they both realized that something was missing .... ANNA.

:)

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... what a good Anna day!

Happy Birthday Danny Boy!

32!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY DAY!

We love you!

Ebalupertration...

Anna and I are heading this afternoon to hang with our friends at the Place Where They Tell You If Your Child Qualifies For Special Services Or Not.

Anna has some speech delays. I'm pretty cool with this as I know a large group of kids grow out of this. In our situation Anna is not only a delay but also a regression. She is losing sounds she was able to make. Some would say this is a function of having her best friend be a 1 (almost 2 next week!!!!) year old, but truth be told, Em is slowly passing Anna in her own acquisition of speech. The other side is that other people have a hard time understanding her, and the kicker, Anna is so frustrated with communicating, she's starting to stop trying. I won't have that.

Anna has receptive language delays. She can follow directions in one step - if described in the proper manner. No superflous language, no description of what you are looking for. If you need her to pick up the yellow towel on the floor behind her, the conversation must go as follows:

-Please turn around
-Please put your hand on the ground by your feet
-See that thing you are touching
-Pick it up
-Please hand it to me

This has about a 60% chance of working. If there is anything else on the floor near the object, you will add about 3 steps. Do not think of saying "Could you please hand me the yellow towel on the floor behind you?" Just don't. 30 minutes later, tears and hugs followed, you might have the yellow towel. You might not.

It isn't all the time, which lulled me into believing it was stubborn 3 year old behavior. Then I noticed I just stopped asking Anna for anything. It was simply miles easier to ask Emma to get it. I can say, "Hey Em, can you please get the phone from the charger next to the TV" and she'll run out of the room and happily return a minute later, phone in hand.

What made me realize it wasn't stubborn behavior (well, at least not all the time) was the realization that she's trying so hard to do what I ask. She's putting forth the effort, sometimes 10 times as much as anyone else would, and just can't figure it out. It's like you are waiting for that moment of clarity to "click" and it just takes so much longer for that to happen with her. She gets so upset. I know some little kids can't find things when they are right in front of them, Julia would be one of them. Anna tries and tries.

Anna has some fine motor skills delays. She is still struggling with how to maneuver a fork and spoon. She uses her hands whenever no one is looking, and even when we are, she still uses her hands to put her food on the spoon or fork most of the time. Sometimes after watching her try to eat (and boy does this girl love to eat), I'll just look away for a while so she can shovel it in her mouth. I know, I know. But you would too. Once again, when you see how hard she tries.... We've spent the last year doing things to help foster her fine motor skills, having her color and draw more often, having her lace cheerios and/or fun beads, doing the whole pick out the rice thing. It has gotten better, but not much. This became evident when she went on preschool visits.

I know. These things all sound like your normal almost 4 year old. I understand that. It's HER reaction that has us persuing the evaluations. She is just as or way more so frustrated with these things (minus the potty training.... she's pretty non-chalant about that whole affair).

So, today is step 3... we'll see where it goes....

Anna update - It went sooooo well. She did great. So well, that we are not pursuing additional evaluations until after she's in preschool in the Fall - IF she's struggling.

The evaluator worked with me on talking with Anna on how to handle other people not understanding her. DUH. I never thought of that. No really, I didn't. The more excited she got the less she was inteligible but that's normal for kids her age. At this point the three sounds she's dropping are age appropriate. There was one inapppropriate sound, but she only did it occasionally which indicates she might already be working it out. So............. we're all good!

We're in the money..

Ok. We're not. I just wanted to sing that little ditty.

We're on a pretty strict budget to overcome some of our past issues, bad decisions and bad fortune. We're working to be debt free, and man oh man I want to be a home owner again sometime in this decade. Most of the time I'm OK with it. Sometimes (like Em's birthday coming up here) it kind of sucks to be broke.

One area where I have become sort of a pro is eating well on a budget. I try to keep our grocery bill at $300 or under for the month, sometimes we're looking at $200 but that's rare.

People ask me often how I feed the 5 of us on that budget and still manage to put healthy, decent meals on the table. Occasionally some really nice ones.

I decided to work on these ideas and share them here. I would also love to hear your recipes for fast and/or inexpensive and/or easy and/or healthy food and any tips you have on saving money at the grocery store.

So what are some of your family favorites?

laptop hell

Did I mention my computer problems???

Laptop #1 - Big Kahuna (love of my life). RIP May/04 Miraculously brought back to life because of these people Dec/07. Current status: power problems fixed (yeah, joy), Big Kahuna refuses to connect to internet. Toying with me.

Laptop #2 - Little Love. RIP Aug/07 A run in with Mastiff menaces resulted in power supply problems. Also miraculously brought back from death by these people in Dec/07. Feb/07 flooding zaps a/c adapter, then little pin in connector breaks off. Much swearing ensues. Open box find at Best Buy provides power base and solution for icky problem. Only new problem... battery life is 30 minutes tops so portable power of laptop is iffy. Slow little computer, S L O W....

Laptop #3 - Piece of Crap. RIP Dec/07. Computer works great. Small problem in that the screen is dead. Faster than #2 but still doesn't come close to #1.

So.... three laptops. Three busy little girls. One working laptop in stationary position upstairs away from where three busy little girls play.

Did I mention I work from home? That I use my computer for 90% of my work. ICK. Good thing I spent the money on that external hard drive for back up.

My baller...

Julia started softball camp this weekend. Against my better wishes Dan bought her a pink glove (girls don't use pink gloves!!) and she was off to learn the fundamentals.

Apparently she had a blast. Every weekend in March they learn different skills so that by the time softball season comes around they are good to go. I think it's a great idea. It gets the kids out and moving in the winter (they practice inside) and they don't have to start the season fresh.

We'll see how this pink gloved wonder goes. I'm sure pictures will follow at some point and just you wait for the actual season...

Mom Update

My parents had one hell of a week. My mom did indeed have a stroke on Tuesday. Unfortunately, it wasn't until Wednesday that we learned that it was a little more severe than we first believed. In addition to the speech issues, she was having some confusion as well as a weakness on her right side, that is making walking a challenge.

She was discharged from the hospital on Friday and was taken down to the town where she and my dad live and placed in a Rehab Facility/Nursing home. My dad says the ratio is 30/70.

She is doing ok. I think this is a big adjustment for her, and I know she was very frightened of this exact scenerio. We'll know more later this week, but we hope that with therapy she will overcome this quickly, and it will be just another of my mom's many challenges that she beat. Her speech is pretty good, but it's a lot of work for her. She still is having some slurring and trouble inunciating but is understandable. She is also extrememly tired still. The walking we're hoping will come... that will get her home.

My dad is hanging in there but you can guess how hard this is on him. He faced struggles with his mom and the rehab/nursing home thing, and I know those memories were best left in the past.

I will keep you posted...

Blogging is hard...

I don't mean the daily (ok, weekly) task of finding something to write about. Mostly because I'm not striving towards striking it big as a blogger, I just like to blog.

I started this current blog to keep my family apprised on the kids and our life. It was much easier to update the blog than to constantly update our family website. Then I started to really enjoy blogging and it became more sort of a public diary. A place to talk about anything I wanted to. Whether someone was listening or not.

Over the last couple of years I have found myself holding back more and more from what I blog here as my audience grows. Not necessarily the strangers that randomly stumble on the blog, but family and friends who read with a certain amount of regularity.

Today was one of those days. It was a really hard day for me. I wanted to blog and share my stress and pain and situation, but because people who are involved read this blog, I couldn't. I spent all day going back and forth. Finally tonight I settled in to read my blog from my reader. I was drawn to some earlier posts I wrote.

I found what I was looking for. My mom answered my question when she couldn't answer it at all. I wasn't going to blog about this. It isn't my news to share. My parents (or my dad) have chosen to wait to make any calls. I found some comments my mom made on my blog after her other issues, and I know your prayers and positive thoughts meant the world to her. So, I'm going to blog about it. She's knows that's what I do. She knows I love her and she knows I want as many good thoughts heading her way as possible.

As you know. My mom and two of her brothers have had cerebral aneurysms. My mother has had 3 brain surgeries. Today she went in and had an angiogram, which is an invasive diagnostic test to see if she has any new aneurysms.

We received good news. No new aneurysms. WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!

Then the bad news. Mom is having trouble speaking.

My mom had a stroke.

The details of the day remain unclear, and I won't go into details simply because I don't have them. The end of this day did not bring any answers.

She is fine. She will be fine. This stroke appears to be minor and it appears to have only impacted her speech (as far as they can tell) and she can still communicate. Tomorrow will bring more answers hopefully.

My heart still hurts. It's my mom. (Written on Tues. Feb 26)