Blogging is hard...

I don't mean the daily (ok, weekly) task of finding something to write about. Mostly because I'm not striving towards striking it big as a blogger, I just like to blog.

I started this current blog to keep my family apprised on the kids and our life. It was much easier to update the blog than to constantly update our family website. Then I started to really enjoy blogging and it became more sort of a public diary. A place to talk about anything I wanted to. Whether someone was listening or not.

Over the last couple of years I have found myself holding back more and more from what I blog here as my audience grows. Not necessarily the strangers that randomly stumble on the blog, but family and friends who read with a certain amount of regularity.

Today was one of those days. It was a really hard day for me. I wanted to blog and share my stress and pain and situation, but because people who are involved read this blog, I couldn't. I spent all day going back and forth. Finally tonight I settled in to read my blog from my reader. I was drawn to some earlier posts I wrote.

I found what I was looking for. My mom answered my question when she couldn't answer it at all. I wasn't going to blog about this. It isn't my news to share. My parents (or my dad) have chosen to wait to make any calls. I found some comments my mom made on my blog after her other issues, and I know your prayers and positive thoughts meant the world to her. So, I'm going to blog about it. She's knows that's what I do. She knows I love her and she knows I want as many good thoughts heading her way as possible.

As you know. My mom and two of her brothers have had cerebral aneurysms. My mother has had 3 brain surgeries. Today she went in and had an angiogram, which is an invasive diagnostic test to see if she has any new aneurysms.

We received good news. No new aneurysms. WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!

Then the bad news. Mom is having trouble speaking.

My mom had a stroke.

The details of the day remain unclear, and I won't go into details simply because I don't have them. The end of this day did not bring any answers.

She is fine. She will be fine. This stroke appears to be minor and it appears to have only impacted her speech (as far as they can tell) and she can still communicate. Tomorrow will bring more answers hopefully.

My heart still hurts. It's my mom. (Written on Tues. Feb 26)