No pages read.
Last night I picked up Order of the Phoenix (Dan's reading it) and read a couple of pages. Man I love that book.
Then it hit me.
I don't want to read it. As long as I don't read it, it's still out there to read.
Apparently this is a problem with me. I'm not good with being "done". The same goes for my tubes. Yes, THOSE tubes. I'm done having children. I do not want another one. I really, really don't. When I get the phone calls from my RE every month saying that my blood test says I'm indeed not pregnant, I hold my breath waiting for that word. NOT. As soon as I hear it, whoooosh. Relief. Not even a tinge of disapointment.
So, you'd think I'd run out and get those tubes tied, or cut or both. If not me, you'd think I'd be sending Dan in for his own slice and dice, complete with the infamous bag of frozen peas for relief.
Yet, I can't do it. Why?
I want to know I CAN if I want to. I don't want CAN'T to figure into the equation. To go to a baseball metaphor... As Kirdy once told me, "I like knowing there is still one on deck."
Craziness, I know. Especially since I think finding out I'm pregnant would send me straight to the local crazy shack. (Edited in response to the question... theMirena IUD is the BC method we have chosen... but that's another post)
So, if you were tuning in for my thoughts on Potter and you were just forced to read about my womanly-ness. Sorry. At least I didn't talk about periods and stuff.
Oooops. I just did.
I know I need to suck it up and read it. I don't want to have it spoiled for me. I can't keep watching only Noggin and shielding my eyes each time I try and open my browser to check email.
I guess I want to know what happens, but I'm clinging to the fact that the unknown is still out there for a little bit longer. That excitement of reading the last book is still there.
Yes Mom, I'm a dork.