Wednesday, October 05, 2005

They are coming to take me away

Ah yes - it must be Wednesday. It's 4pm - and I'm praying Dan is home before 8pm tonight - because I know I will be in a corner lying in the fetal position rocking with a vibe of insanity if I'm left another 4 hours with my little creations of destruction.

This last 8 days has been a test of my patience and strength as mother. I know it's a phase 9that's what we say to ourselves anyway - to make it through - right??? We all know that there really AREN'T phases!!!) and that both girls can not continue on this path much longer. How do I know that you ask? Because at one point - their heads will explode from excessive amounts of troublemaking thoughts... or mine will explode from containing all the evil thoughts I'm having! ;)

Don't get me wrong - I am absolutely not making light of real child abuse/post partum depression/mental illness or any other such issue that I'm hitting her today for the sake of a joke - I'm making light of it for my OWN sanity. You know - the way ER doctors joke around to get through a particularly traumatic event.

So - Julia is laying in her bed having a half hour cooling down period - which apparently includes screaming at the top her lungs sobbing for the entire period... and Anna is now in "Jr. Time Out" which consists of my confining her to a small space with a safety gate in which she can not at any time do any of the following for a short amount of time while I regroup and stop banging my head on the wall.
- stick anything into an electrical socket
- climb on anything to jump off (preferably 3ft higher locations)
- draw on her self, sister, furniture, carpet, walls with the ONLY non-
washable marker in the house
- break Julia's toys
- hit/bite/smack another breathing entity
- eat dog food, spill dog food, spread dog food through the entire house
- turn the tv off incessantly during Julia's only 1/2 hour of tv
- play in the toilets

SMACK SMACK SMACK - yes - that is my head banging into a wall.

Ok - 10 minutes has passed - it's time to set the tiny terror free. By the way - she can manage just about everything on the list above WITH parental supervision. she's tricky and fast this one.

So - why is Julia banned to purple, princess hell you might ask? Because as I was chasing Anna from one obstacle to another - Julia decided that sneaking a tub of frosting from the pantry - and not only eating most of it - but spreading it all over the tv table would be a good idea. Keep in mind that this was preceded by emptying an entire bottle of J&J Baby Lotion onto one of her little kitchen plates and spreading it on her stuffed animals... and that was preceded by coloring all over her and her sister with a marker.... AGAIN!

Now - I know what you are saying - these kids are BEGGING for my attention - they are acting out because they NEED something. Unfortunately - I wish that was true - it appears to me that both of my children function better when I ignore them. Shortly after spending an hour of Anna's nap time doing crafts with Julia she demands I give her some privacty so she can play with her stuff in the play room. Then Anna seems to be at her most destructive during fun time with mommy!

OK - enough bashing my kids - I will wrap this up with something nice about both little girls...

Anna - has started giving hugs/kisses/mwahs on a regular basis - unprovoked and with lvoe... that's nice - even to her sister!!! She now does this little thing where she points with her index finger and says "YOU" and giggles - but you MUST respond with "NO, YOU" and point back - at which time the giggling borders on pee in your pants hysteria.

Julia - her vocabulary freaks me out! Last night she was getting ready to go to bed and says "Momma, just wait please - because I need to get situated" SITUATED???? She's 4! :) She has also been drawing the sweetest pictures of our family - she's getting to be more and more representational with her stick figures - and it's precious. She is also practicing writing her alphabet all the time know - in order - and she does Upper case - then lower case.

So - now that my monsters have quieted down - I think I need to take one last sip of my ice water here - and go give hugs and snuggles and pretend were having a joyous day. Aren't they cute!!!

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