I'm crazy...

I mean, in a good way. I've already established I'm a bit crazy in the not so good kind of way, but yesterday I realized that I might be even crazier than I thought.

I agreed to chair the staff appreciation week at Julia's school. Yeah. An entire week of fun. 3 big events.

I think it will be a blast. I just hope that when it's over I'm still crazy enough to have enjoyed it.

Saturday Julia went to a birthday party. Anna stayed at home wondering why she wasn't invited. To make it up to her we played games, dressed up in our princess clothes and had fun too. So much fun she didn't want to go get Julia.

Dan and I spent 20 minutes fighting with her to get her clothes, socks, boots, coat on to go. When she was finally dressed and ready to go, she sat down and informed us that she would stay. Someone had to watch the dog anyway. (Anyway is her new favorite and much used word.)

The following conversation insued-

"Anna. We. Have. To. Go. Get. Julia. NOW," I said, through my clenched teeth. "Don't you want to go pick Julia up?"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Mommy," throwing herself even flatter on the floor. "I can't"

"Why not?" I said, deciding to humor her for a moment, and very short moment.

"I'm too little," she whispers, peeking out.

"Too little? You are getting to be a big girl"

"But mommmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I will get hurt"

"Hurt? No one will hurt you sweetie."

"No. I will get owies. I can't do it."

"Anna, no one will hurt you. I promise. Now, come on and get up. We need to go. NOW"

"But mommmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, she's too heavy. I can't pick Julia up. It will hurt me and I will fall down."

"wha?"

"I can't pick her up mommy."

"ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Whoa Nelly...

I just wanted to say that I have never seen a 10 month old with a temper quite like Emma's. It is amazing to me how angry she can get.

It is impressive.

We're talking full out temper tantrums. Hitting. Biting. Flailing her little angry arms about like a full blown 2 year old.

Now that she's fully mobile she also doesn't enjoy being left alone. Even for mere seconds. She will chase you down and make sure you understand how unhappy that made her.

She even nurses angrily. While she's nursing with this sweet little serene look on her face she will kick her legs with furious abandon. She'll pinch whatever her little fingers can lazily grab. Nursing is a full contact sport with her.

The flip side of that voracious temper is hilarity. She is so enjoyable when she's not screaming or attacking you that it almost makes up for the other times. She laughs like the old wrinkly ladies drinking their lunch in Boca. You know - the leather skinned ones smoking by the pool? It's a hoarse, deep laugh. It's awesome.

Oh and she sings. Like an angel. An angel that fell and broke her wings and is in pain. But an angel. If she hears music or someone else singing, she'll do her best to imitate. and the dancing. the dancing. She really gets rocking, and smiling, and singing and tapping.

She's trouble.

Love the deals...

Over the last couple of days I have been in bargain shopping mode. I think I have nearly outfitted Julia for next fall and winter. I didn't want to buy too many pants since I don't really know where she'll be in a year - but I bought a couple. Shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts, pajamas... she's set. I think the most I spent on anything was $4.99. Some of my purchases were 90% off. I soooo love that.

I also found some clothes for Anna and Em, but they still have lots of clothes from Julia to wear. Em got some Stride Rite shoes for $6.49. We bought a couple pairs they were such a good deal.

Now I'm setting my sights on coats/snow pants for next year.

At this point, with two big bags of clothes - I think I've maybe spent $100 total, including Em's shoes. I love that feeling. I'm guessing we're not too far from the time where it WILL matter to the girls if the clothes are in season (not that it was ever much of a problem for me growing up, but I think I've established here that I'm not exactly fashion wise), but for now, I'll enjoy the super bargains.

Oh - and did I mention I bought some cute boots - with heels. Really. Heels. They aren't even slip ons or mules. Crazy I tell you. I'm getting loopy in this cold weather. Oh - and they were 75% off. LOVE IT.

It begins...

I have never had to deal with a 10 month old doing this before ---- I think I need to up my Zoloft!

awwwwwwwwwwwwww

Anna's cooking

Today I went to a Mommy and Me cooking class with Anna. I had to take Em along too but Em was super well behaved.

We read a book about a mouse who makes a huge mess. Then we made cornflake chicken strips and then a potato mouse. Anna had a blast. She was super patient about letting the other little kids take their turns when needed. She sat down and behaved and listened and used her manners.

She was so proud of herself for doing something Julia does. "momma, no, I do it myself, OK?" was her mantra of the morning.

Loved it. It was nice to see Anna doing something on her own.

Nothing

Seinfeld would be proud of this post. This is the post about nothing. I won't pretend that anything I write is really "inspired", or more than chit chat about the kids and life. This will be like that - but less so.

I guess I've joined that list of bloggers who whine about being worn out and not having a lot to say. I've been doing a lot of writing, and even things that would be fit for the public, just not for my friends and family.

I want to be funny. I want to entertain. I want to make you glad you spent a minute stopping by to check up on the clan.

Right now I'm just not.

I'm actually in a really good place mentally. Feeling better than I have in a long time. Starting to see more than just a light at the end of the tunnel. Therapy is amazing. I like paying someone to listen to me. Someone I don't have to try to impress. Someone I don't have to try to be my friend. I'm slowly coming back to myself. Some things I don't want to return to, and that's kind of a big thing to accept. Change is hard. The big thing I'm struggling with right now include realizing just how big of an ass I've been over the last year and a half or so. Depression really screws with your perception of events. At least it does with me.

I'm less angry. I'm less defensive. I am starting to lose some of that paranoia that has been hanging over my head.

So, I may bore you even more than usual. I may go on and on about nothing.

Nothings new then.

I think it's time...

When Anna was 16 months old we began a farcical journey in potty training. For 2 weeks she regularly peed and pooped on the potty. She asked to go and then went. I secretly held out hope that it would indeed be that easy - but I was skeptical. After those two weeks, Anna decided that she had zero interest in the potty and well, that was that.

We've had a couple of fleeting moments of interest in using the potty, but they were just that... fleeting.

I readily admit I've been lazy with Anna's potty training. With Emma being newly mobile in addition to her marathon nursing sessions - sitting in the bathroom with Anna for long periods of time as we wait for, umm, product, is more difficult than I care to admit. We tried the same thing we did with Julia, which was moving the little potty into the living room and letting her just use it in there, but Anna hates the little potty. She only wants to use the real deal. I guess that will help when it's time for the dreaded public potty times.

Santa brought Anna some Dora underwear in her stocking. She was not interested. That's when we stumbled across the potty training marvel that is the potty song and dance. This little bit of potty training wisdom was originally imparted to me by my father who cut out an article back when Julia was potty training about the success of a potty song and dance on someones child. We tried it with Julia and it worked better than stickers, candy and bribes combined. Apparently the same is true for Anna.

Julia's potty song was an upbeat, happy little ditty that resulted in dancing and prancing around. Anna's is a swashbuckling merry tune that is a peppy song sung to the tune of a "Sailor's life for me". It involves lots of "Ahoy matey" and "Argh"'s with our best pirate voices. Perfect for Anna. I think she's definitely catching on, as at least 2-3 times a day she asks to go to the bathroom. I think this weekend we'll begin the pull-up (the kind with the wet liner) full blown potty training with a diaper only for night.

oh - and a funny poop story...

Yesterday I sat down to nurse Emma who is sick with an ear infection. She had finally settled in to actually nurse when I heard that terrifying Velcro sound of the tape tab being pulled free from the diaper. Anna announced she had to poop. I asked her if she could wait for a minute. She said no. I told her to just poop in her diaper then. She then followed my instructions to the T. She had taken off her diaper, so she squatted over it and pooped.

I think she's ready...

Good Morning...

Julia surprised Dan and I on Saturday morning - and brought us breakfast in bed.

No kidding.

She put two glasses of orange juice and two bowls of cereal (without milk since we were out of milk) on a cookie sheet and brought it up stairs to us.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

oh maaaaaan

I love, love, love to watch people bowl. It's just one of those sports where people take their performance a little too, well... seriously. I understand bowling is a ummm *ahem* sport but it just seems slightly less technical then lets say... croquet.

Here's an example of Mr. Serious Bowler. They approach the line and stare down the pins. THen they back up with a smooth gait. Stop. One again take a menacing glare at the pins. They bring their arm back and then rush at the line. They throw the ball with super speed and no matter what they do, if it isn't a strike, they do that "oh man, damnit" jerk of their head and then sort of stomp back to wait for the return of their ball. Anything less than a strike or spare is pure bowling failure.

Tonight we took the girls bowling, what a blast. It was Julia and Anna's first time. Let me just say thanks to God for bumpers. Some of Anna's rolls ended up stopping in mid alley, others just took 20 minutes to get down the lane. It was hysterical. She loved it. We ended up being pretty competitive after our warm up game...

Julia beat us all.

"oh man, damnit"

Update on Mom....

I just heard from my mom. She is out of surgery and is loopy from the drugs but doing ok. They were able to get the coil in - and she said everything went the way it was supposed to.

whew.

Thank you sooooooo much for your comments, emails and calls (even though I had the balls to bitch about the calls... I still appreciated them greatly!). They mean so much to all of us.

WHEW.

Phone - STOP RINGING

I swear - most days my phone never rings. Dan may call my cell phone, but he has a special ring tone and I know it's him from the second it rings.

The 5 dozen telemarketers and well intentioned friends calling are driving me nuts. Every time the phone rings the panic and anxiety build up. Is this the phone call?? Is everything ok?

Is this going to be the phone call that is burned into my memory forever?

Like when my dad called me 9 years ago tomorrow to tell me that my mom had an aneurysm rupture and they weren't sure she was going to make it. I remember where I was, what he said and every moment after that - that ended with me on a plane 5 hours later rushing me to my mom's bedside in Intensive Care.

It has been almost exactly to the day - 20 years since my mom had her first aneurysms clipped in a full craniotomy. That was followed by several grand mal seizures a couple of months later from the scar tissue. Then nine years ago tomorrow she had an aneurysm rupture and another craniotomy. This was followed by a vasal spasming episode that almost killed her. I was there when her blood pressure sky rocketed and I remember them calling for help. The room went from 1 nurse to 10 people working fast and furiously within an unbelievably short amount of time. I remember standing in the hallway calling my Dad who had just left after a long vigil by her side to tell him to come back. I remember watching my parent's friend who was also our doctor come running down the hall to her room.

I sit waiting for that phone to ring again. My brother just called and he was wondering if I had heard anything. We tried to call my Dad but got the voice mail.

I hope he calls soon because I have to leave to go to my doctor's appointment in an hour and I don't want to miss the call.

So now it's just more sit and wait. and wait.

Let's chat...

I'm desperately trying to busy my mind but my interactions with a 2 year old and a 10 month old aren't exactly keeping my mind off things.

I thought about taking the girls out to do something, but considering it's hovering around 15 degrees today, I'm just not in the mood to bundle and rebundle and bundle and rebundle... so we've spent the morning playing and watching episode after episode of "Dirty Jobs". Nap time is now upon us and my mind is racing. Patience is not one of my strengths.

I've run out of tv with Mike Rove and the recent month of reruns has made sure my DVR sits on empty. I've read the blogs on my roll and found that only some of them have written today. Come on people!! Write! Ok. I'm guilty enough of not staying up on this blog - so I'll cut you some slack.

I've entered all my points on weight watchers.

I had my Kashi Lemongrass Coconut Chicken for lunch (very strong tasting - but pretty good for microwave food).

Now I just sit here and try to find something to write about that is a little more exciting than what is going in my mouth. Although really - I should get mega points for not stress eating today.

Well - I'll just go to the old standby - the kidlets.

Julia - Julia is continuing her daily battle to not go to school, but it's starting to lessen now that it falls on deaf ears. We made the decision that in the morning - in the throws of getting ready that we would not entertain discussion on the subject. In the afternoon or at bedtime, if it's brought up, we discuss it and talk about feelings and fears and yadda yadda yadda... but in the morning it's get up, get ready and go to school. PERIOD. She really likes her Hip Hop class and is excited about her ballet/tap/jazz class she has next session. THe cooking class has been awesome. They made turkey chili this week and she tried it even though she didn't like it. SHe even tried red pepper as they were putting it in. WOW. We get enough to take home and so Dan, Anna and I had it for dinner along with the corn muffins they also made. Julia helped me made some noodles for her dinner. Nothing like having your 6 year old make dinner.

Anna - Anna has been cranky lately but is as funny as always. She goes into Julia's cooking class like she owns the place and earned herself an invitation to the 3 year old story time cooking class. So starting next week we're going to give it a try. I have to take Em with me which I think will be the difficult part - but I know Anna will love it.

i'll update more later...

It's that time again... 3rd time the charm?

Thursday my mom will hopefully be having her brain surgery procedure for her cerebral aneurysm. She will be having an endovascular coiling procedure (microvascular coiling thrombosis). They attempted the procedure in October (read here for more info) but were unsuccessful (read the info on that here).

Once again I ask you for your prayers and positive thoughts as my mom goes through this scary time.

It means so much to me that you reach out to her, and I know it means the world to her to know that people are thinking of her.

I am of course selfish in my hope that it goes really well - because she'll be leaving the next week to fly to Michigan for 2 1/2 weeks and then here for 2 1/2 weeks! The girls really miss her and can't wait to see her - so I'm hoping all goes well and she can fly with a successfully coiled aneurysm.

Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

Marriage meme

Fun marriage meme on da memes....

My fine is... $445.50

I stole this from Missing JT Snow who stole it from Fantastagirl who stole it from Blogarita....

Here's how it works:You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. And NO, it is not PER incident (otherwise, some of us would have totals more than the national debt!).

Bring up that calculator, and get to work!

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

Tally it up and Title it..."My Fine Is..."

In my recent Parenting magazine there was a thought and I think it sums up what I've been thinking about lately...

"How come the days drag on so slowly, but the years fly by so fast?"

I did it!!

I drove in slushy/icy/snowy conditions for the first time in about 8 years. I did just fine. Seems like people around here know how to drive in this weather. I didn't have any crazy people blowing by me at break neck speeds... so that's good. I was really impressed at how our Odyssey held up in the nasty conditions.

It did take me about 1/2 hour to de-ice the van before we left, I admit it took me a while to figure out that turning the car on first and letting the heat warm the windows would help. Once I did that it was much easier, but still laborious and time consuming.

Then on the way home we drove by the beach and I couldn't believe that there were about 10 people out in the water surfing. It's 28 degrees, snow covering the beach - and people are out in the water. Nuts.

Funnnnnnnnnnnnnny

Oh..... my........

Please check this out, the ijoy Ride. I so love a good chuckle.

It's real. And $479.00

I can think of something else that apparently is good for the core muscles - includes yawing AND doesn't cost $479.00

Watch the video that's in the middle of the page if you get a chance. Hilarious.

And please don't tell Dan to get this for me for Valentine's Day.

Sunday Six...

Kelly at Missing JT Snow has us asking questions...

Here are Julia's (age 6) and Anna's (age 2 1/2) answers....

1. Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.?

J - Martin Luther King, Jr. was a famous guy.

A- I don't want to

2. Why was he an important man?

J- Cause he helped people get along

A- I don't know

3. What did he want?

J- He wanted people to be ummm helpful to each other

A - I don't know

4. Why is peace important?

J- Cause the world is always supposed to be peaceful

A- I don't know

5. What is the Nobel Peace Prize?

J- I don't know, for peace?

6. What are you doing to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday?

J- I'm going to spend it with my sisters and my mom but my Dad will be at work.

Whoa

12 girls in a small place was just as crazy as I thought. I'm so glad I planned, planned and planned things for them to do. I'm sooo bummed though that I forgot to do the tea party Bingo. It turned out so cute too.

Julia had a great time, and I think most of the kids did as well. I was exhausted since Emma didn't sleep last night. It took everything I had to orchestrate these kidlets.

The mom's were friendly and most stayed although they were mostly chatting with each other (it was their first time meeting too).

The crafts went over really well. We beaded necklaces, played stick the butterflies/dragonflies on the flowers, decorated a foam visor with foam stickers, had snacks, cupcakes and open presents. The kids ran wild for a good portion of the beginning until I was able to direct them to the table where they colored some pictures I had printed out. The biggest hits were Em's toys!! The two fights were between kids wanting a turn with Em's Roll a Rounds Dino-roar and Anna/Em's Zebra toy.

I couldn't believe the noise 11 little girls could make - the shrieking!!!!

I'm glad the girls had a good time and I think that overall it went about as well as I thought it would. I wish I had been a little more prepared food wise but I just ran out of time with Em being so cranky.

Now it's time to relax.

5 up

I just returned from Julia's birthday snack at school. It was so nice to be in her class. Her teacher has her hands full with 19 5-6 year olds, but she does a great job with them. Julia picked the game for us to play and she chose 5 up.

I used to play this game in elementary school - but it was called 7 up.

5 kids are at the front of the class and everyone else puts their heads down (no peeking) and their thumbs up. Then those five kids each choose one kids and tap their thumb. Then the teacher says "heads up, stand up" and the 5 people who had their thumbs tapped stand up and take turns making a guess who tapped them. If they get it right they trade places with the person that tapped them, if they get it wrong, they sit back down.

It was fun to watch the kids play - and what tricky little ones they are indeed. Pointing to other kids to throw the scent off their trail and acting all guilty when it wasn't them. Tricky.

We played 3 times - and I was picked twice. I'm pretty cool.

Party time...

It may be 2 weeks late - but we are gearing up to celebrate Julia's birthday with a party. 10 little girls will be here on Saturday in what could be referred to as a tea party melee. Julia helped me plan almost every part and is sooo excited.

I went shopping last night for supplies, decorations and what not.

Originally this tea party was going to be for a small group of 5 little girls. The party Julia and I had planned for and imagined was doable with 5. With 12 it's going to be interesting. I imagine a smackdown over the various pearl necklaces and marabou boas.

For the most part the decorations for this party are pretty inexpensive. White tablecloths, pink sparkly tulle, lacy paper doilies and flower petals. I made these little table wreaths that will hold lollipops and flowers and surround the punch bowl and cupcake tier. Throw in some balloons and a little crepe paper and we're good to go. I found some plastic faux silver serving platters and plastic white tea cups... so I think it will be precious.

We're serving peanut butter and jelly as well as ham and cheese sandwiches cut into little circles. We'll also have cheese cubes and fruit skewers. I'll put out a veggie tray for the parents sticking around. I have some little cookie biscuits to have with their "tea" (lemonade, apple juice or strawberry punch). I'm making cupcakes since my cake pans are in storage.

Julia and I are making little tea bag gift bags that have candy necklaces, ring pops and butterfly body glitter in them. These will go in their big handled goody bags with tissue paper and tulle. It will be a nice place for the girls to put their boas, necklaces, gloves and crafts in.

We'll be playing pin the butterfly on the flowers, and doing a painting craft. This is where I need help. There will be some eating, some caking and some present opening - but from past partying - I know this could take up only 1/2 hour of our time! That leaves an hour to an hour and a half for 12 little girls to be trapped inside a house with little roam for gallavanting.

So.... what are some other party games we could play with space and possibly attire (I'm guessing with the tea party theme some will have nice clothing on) being a consideration. Please help a motha out?

Beachin it

We have had unseasonably warm weather here in Maine this Winter. I think we've only had 3 days of snow so those snow shoes and sleds are just sitting around waiting for use!

The warm weather has been great for us because it means we are really getting use of the beach. On Christmas day we took a walk down the beach and Anna and I braved the cold water and put our feet in!

On Sunday the beach was hopping with surfers and people out enjoying the mild weather. The girls and I walked the beach in bare feet. Can you believe it??? Maine in January????

Unfortunately it looks like the cold weather is about to descend upon us and stay as that artic air is coming... so we'll just look at these photos and remember the warmth...

Feel like cooking something up....

Julia, Julia, Julia why is it always about Julia??

Julia started some activities this week... a hip hop class on Saturdays and a cooking class on Tuesdays.

The hip hop class was great and she had a blast. I could tell she felt so good dancing again. Anna was supposed to be starting a little tots dance class but they only had 2 kids signed up. She was disapointed but they are working on putting another one together for February. We're keeping our fingers crossed that she can do some dancing too.

The cooking class was THE COOLEST. For the first night they made breakfast cookies and smoothies. They are 99% hands on and learn a lot about good nutrition and healty lifestyle too since their instructor is a dietician. They sample some in class and then get to take the rest home. Next week is Turkey Chili. I'll let you know how it is!

Although it was nice not having to run a kid to and from an activity - I feel grateful that we have the opportunity to do this. I know how important it is for Julia to feel settled and these classes allow her to feel a part of the community around her and get to know some kids outside of school.

Speaking of kids, I will be having 12 little girls here (including Julia and Anna) for Julia's tea party birthday party. This is quite a jump form the initial 5 invited. It should be fun, but it does mean quite a bit of extra planning and twice the supplies.

Here are some pictures from Julia's actual birthday on the 28th.

Here is Julia in front of her birthday tree. We've done this every year we've been home for the holidays and it's a great way for me to get off my butt and get the Christmas decorations down!

A life long family friend of ours who(m???) lives here in Maine shares a birthday with Julia and they refer to each other as "birthday buddies". This was their first year to share their birthday together in person. It was special for Julia to have someone so wonderful (actually a couple someone's as Mr. Birthday Buddy joined us and their daughter J who is one of my best friends also came) celebrate with her.

da lobstahs

We wouldn't be living in Maine if we didn't support the local economy and boil up some lobstah for New Years Eve...

And yes, lobsters were harmed during this photography session. Sorry. But they were tasty. Also consumed were some tasty broiled scallops wrapped in bacon and some littleneck clams. oh yeah... and some shrimp.

Ahoy...

Anna has a current fascination with pirates, Superman ("Superman will save the world!!") and all things Princess and ballerinas.

Now - this isn't the whole of Anna. She also digs cars, trains and blocks. Oh - and Dora. Yet, right now - she talks non-stop about the big three on top. The pirate thing comes from the Backyardigans and Dora and we're not sure at all where she heard about Superman --- but she digs him too (who doesn't really??).

So - the other night at Target we found the trifecta of Anna's passions on Clearance at Target. A pirate hook and eye patch. A Supergirl, glittery, pink t-shirt. A ballerina skirt and shoes.

Without further interruption I give you Anna.

The dancing pirate Supergirl.

This photo isn't the best at capturing the true hilarity of that moment but it's quite a feat to catch Anna when she's in motion.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I almost forgot the funniest part of this story. She would put her eye patch on and say "Ahoy matey, I cap'n Anna" and then flip her eye patch up and say "Hello. I'm Anna. How are you?" In the cutest little voice. Then with a quick flip of the eye patch she'd transform back to the dastardly Cap'n Anna.

This one isn't nearly as funny - but isn't she purdy??

Don't you worry...

Don't you worry 'bout me....

My last post apparently left ya'll hanging thinking I'm sitting in my house here getting ready to end it all. Just not so.

That was a recap of 2006 and unfortunately it was definitely marked with a visit back to depression. It was a time of a huge amount of change and turmoil but also some wonderful things. It seemed that all areas of my life were forced into adjustment. It just takes a while for me to adjust to all of these things. I am. Slowly but surely.

The dark clouds are lifting - some days are still a little gray, but really I know it's fine. I'm lucky in the fact that I've suffered from the ugly beast before so I know there is an end in sight, it just sometimes feels a little far away. I know from experience that 2007 is going to be better (it already is, starting 2007 and NOT pregnant and Dan is employed and we have money in the bank account and everyone is healthy and doing well ---- definitely better than last year!).

So - don't you worry about me.

40 questions about my 2006

I'm so stealing this! I saw this on CrazyRN's blog and she stole it from Kelly's blog ! Thanks!!!

40 questions about my 2006

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Became the mother to 3 little girls!

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions and will you make more for next year? Yes and no. I did get more organized - I did get rid of lots of things... but the hectic pace of the move did more damage. I will continue to work on that for 2007.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Me in March, my good friend Stephanie - right before Christmas

4. Did anyone close to you die? No. Well, my parents dog Sweetie Pie.

5. What countries did you visit? Canada

6. What would you like to have in 2007 which you lacked in 2006? stability

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched in your memory, and why? March 12 - the day Emma Leigh turned our world upside down

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Moving across the country

9. What was your biggest failure? This is a long one. This year my biggest failure was finally succumbing to depression... again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Spraigned my ankle

11. What was the best thing you bought? ????

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My family - Dan found a job and took care of moving most of our things out here... and my girls are doing a stellar job of adjusting.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Me

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills, bills, bills and down payments

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Living in Maine

16. What song will always remind you of 2006? My Little Girl by Tim McGraw. I love this song.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer? Happier, fatter, and it's a wash between richer/poorer. We have more money coming in because Dan is employed but we're struggling to get over the 6 months without income and a move.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Smiling and sleeping

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being angry

20. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? I spent it with my kids and husband - yummy lobster!

21. Did you fall in love in 2006? Yep - with Em's smile

23. How many one-night stands? None

24. What was your favorite TV program? Grey's Anatomy, Studio 60, Ugly Betty, House and Bones.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No

26. What was the best book you read? I have no idea!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? ipod

28. What did you want and get? a job for Dan

29. What did you want and not get? a great paying job for Dan

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I don't know about this one, I saw Curious George and Happy Feet in the theater.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old did you turn? I turned 31 and I had a little party with my family.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Em not being in pain

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Jean shorts and a v neck tshirt

34. What kept you sane? Zoloft and therapy

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? This year I'm not sure... it certainly wasn't Britney... ICK.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the November elections!

37. Whom did you miss? My parents

38. Who was the best new person you met? I haven't met too many new people - so I'll just stick with Julia's teacher. She's wonderful.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: That I'm OK. That sometimes I need to give myself a break.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "Has someone taken your faith?Its real, the pain you feel,The life, the love,You'd die to heal,The hope that starts,The broken hearts,Your trust, you mustConfess,Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?"